WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.634
ANTHONY ROBBINS is one of America's best-known

2
00:00:05.634 --> 00:00:12.267
motivational speakers.

3
00:00:12.267 --> 00:00:17.767
GQ magazine called him ''a force of muscular hope and a diehard

4
00:00:17.767 --> 00:00:22.367
believer.'' He has advised everyone from Andre Agassi and

5
00:00:22.367 --> 00:00:26.567
President Clinton to the IBM Corporation and the United

6
00:00:26.567 --> 00:00:30.234
States Army.

7
00:00:30.234 --> 00:00:33.467
More than a million people from around the world have attended

8
00:00:33.467 --> 00:00:36.400
his seminars, and millions more have bought his books and tapes

9
00:00:36.400 --> 00:00:39.100
and videos.

10
00:00:39.100 --> 00:00:41.601
This year he expanded his vast empire on line, launching a new

11
00:00:41.601 --> 00:00:44.000
Web site, www.dreamlife.com.

12
00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:46.300
I am pleased, at long last, to have him at

13
00:00:46.300 --> 00:00:47.968
this table. Welcome.

14
00:00:47.968 --> 00:00:49.634
Thank you very much.

15
00:00:49.634 --> 00:00:51.300
Boy, that's quite an introduction.

16
00:00:51.300 --> 00:00:53.000
Well, that's sort of-- that's

17
00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:56.534
about it, isn't it? Yeah.

18
00:00:56.534 --> 00:00:58.467
We'll get to dreamlife in a second.

19
00:00:58.467 --> 00:01:00.400
Sure.

20
00:01:00.400 --> 00:01:02.334
Where did all this begin for you?

21
00:01:02.334 --> 00:01:04.300
I mean, how did ANTHONY ROBBINS become-- what was the

22
00:01:04.300 --> 00:01:06.267
evolution for you to do and be what you are?

23
00:01:06.267 --> 00:01:08.000
I'm not quite sure what I am.

24
00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:09.567
I think that's under construction.

25
00:01:09.567 --> 00:01:10.968
But I love people--

26
00:01:10.968 --> 00:01:12.534
Or on the way to becoming.

27
00:01:12.534 --> 00:01:13.934
Yeah.

28
00:01:13.934 --> 00:01:15.501
Let's say.

29
00:01:15.501 --> 00:01:16.901
I'm just--

30
00:01:16.901 --> 00:01:18.234
On the way to becoming.

31
00:01:18.234 --> 00:01:19.467
I'm-- you know, I've become a lot from

32
00:01:19.467 --> 00:01:20.901
where I was.

33
00:01:20.901 --> 00:01:22.467
I love people.

34
00:01:22.467 --> 00:01:24.133
I always have.

35
00:01:24.133 --> 00:01:25.901
I'm the kind of person-- I remember when I was very young,

36
00:01:25.901 --> 00:01:27.734
my mom told me a story -- she's told it to everybody now since

37
00:01:27.734 --> 00:01:29.334
then -- that, you know, I'd be 5 years old, and I'd go to the

38
00:01:29.334 --> 00:01:31.067
liquor store to get bread and milk.

39
00:01:31.067 --> 00:01:32.834
And I'd come back, and she'd say, ''Where's

40
00:01:32.834 --> 00:01:34.667
the bread and milk?''

41
00:01:34.667 --> 00:01:36.567
And I said, ''There was a poor man there, and I gave him the

42
00:01:36.567 --> 00:01:38.033
money.'' And she said, ''We're poor,'' you know, because--

43
00:01:38.033 --> 00:01:39.467


44
00:01:39.467 --> 00:01:40.934
''(unintelligible) wake up, son.''

45
00:01:40.934 --> 00:01:42.400
I just love people. And so it was a natural

46
00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:43.868
outcropping of some frustrations

47
00:01:43.868 --> 00:01:45.434
in my own life and wanting to solve them, figure things out,

48
00:01:45.434 --> 00:01:47.133
that I looked for solutions.

49
00:01:47.133 --> 00:01:49.067
And I looked to books because I didn't have any role

50
00:01:49.067 --> 00:01:51.033
models, per se.

51
00:01:51.033 --> 00:01:52.934
And then, as I made changes myself, I'd share

52
00:01:52.934 --> 00:01:55.300
that with my friends.

53
00:01:55.300 --> 00:01:57.767
And then I saw them make changes and get excited.

54
00:01:57.767 --> 00:02:00.200
And I got kind of addicted to the process.

55
00:02:00.200 --> 00:02:02.234
I got a lot of love from helping people, and I do now

56
00:02:02.234 --> 00:02:04.033
enormously, but now it's millions of people.

57
00:02:04.033 --> 00:02:05.534
And I am addicted to that process, and I think it's a

58
00:02:05.534 --> 00:02:06.901
positive addiction.

59
00:02:06.901 --> 00:02:08.200
I love to learn.

60
00:02:08.200 --> 00:02:09.467
I love to grow.

61
00:02:09.467 --> 00:02:10.901
I love to share.

62
00:02:10.901 --> 00:02:12.167
When I was in high school, I was ''Mr.

63
00:02:12.167 --> 00:02:13.601
Solution,'' everybody called me.

64
00:02:13.601 --> 00:02:15.167
If you had a problem, I had the solution, especially if you were

65
00:02:15.167 --> 00:02:16.868
a girl.

66
00:02:16.868 --> 00:02:18.367
I had a different solution there!

67
00:02:18.367 --> 00:02:20.000
But what were you driving to be?

68
00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:21.734
What did you think was the route when you

69
00:02:21.734 --> 00:02:23.534
were in high school?

70
00:02:23.534 --> 00:02:25.000
When I was in high school, I was hoping to be

71
00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:26.467
a professional athlete--

72
00:02:26.467 --> 00:02:27.934
Yeah.

73
00:02:27.934 --> 00:02:29.167
--you know, so that-- that wasn't working out

74
00:02:29.167 --> 00:02:30.434
too well because--

75
00:02:30.434 --> 00:02:31.701
Why not?

76
00:02:31.701 --> 00:02:32.934
--I was very small. I was five-one, and I

77
00:02:32.934 --> 00:02:34.200
started very late.

78
00:02:34.200 --> 00:02:35.868
I'm six-seven now.

79
00:02:35.868 --> 00:02:37.901
I tell people the difference is

80
00:02:37.901 --> 00:02:39.234
personal growth. (laughter)

81
00:02:39.234 --> 00:02:40.601
Yes!

82
00:02:40.601 --> 00:02:41.934
But honestly, I--

83
00:02:41.934 --> 00:02:43.300
''I'm a personal-- I'm exhibit one

84
00:02:43.300 --> 00:02:44.667
for personal growth.''

85
00:02:44.667 --> 00:02:46.467
Yeah. Exactly. I didn't know.

86
00:02:46.467 --> 00:02:48.100
I just-- when I was in high school, I-- early on, about 16

87
00:02:48.100 --> 00:02:49.801
years old, I decided I wanted to become president of the United

88
00:02:49.801 --> 00:02:51.334
States because I thought, ''How can I contribute

89
00:02:51.334 --> 00:02:52.701
the most to society?''

90
00:02:52.701 --> 00:02:54.000
And I went to a seminar by a man named Jim

91
00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:55.501
Rowley (sp? ).

92
00:02:55.501 --> 00:02:56.834
He's still a seminar speaker.

93
00:02:56.834 --> 00:02:58.000
And I took a week's pay.

94
00:02:58.000 --> 00:02:59.467
I was working $40 a week as a janitor.

95
00:02:59.467 --> 00:03:00.901
And it was $35 for the evening seminar, so

96
00:03:00.901 --> 00:03:02.634
it was a big decision.

97
00:03:02.634 --> 00:03:04.801
And I listened to him speak, and I came out so inspired because

98
00:03:04.801 --> 00:03:06.734
most of what he said I already believe.

99
00:03:06.734 --> 00:03:08.400
Now it was an authority figure saying ''You really can be this

100
00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:09.868
way.'' And so I said, ''I'll become president of the United

101
00:03:09.868 --> 00:03:11.200
States.'' To do that, you've got to be practical.

102
00:03:11.200 --> 00:03:12.534
You've got to be a senator.

103
00:03:12.534 --> 00:03:13.767
You've got to be a congressman.

104
00:03:13.767 --> 00:03:15.601
You've got to be a state assemblyman.

105
00:03:15.601 --> 00:03:17.467
And I worked all the way back to ''What can I do tomorrow?''

106
00:03:17.467 --> 00:03:19.367
which is run for student body president.

107
00:03:19.367 --> 00:03:21.300
And I wasn't a popular kid, so I ran it like a real campaign.

108
00:03:21.300 --> 00:03:23.100
I went to all the groups and said, ''What do you really want?

109
00:03:23.100 --> 00:03:24.601
I won't lie to you.'' I went and found out whether we thought

110
00:03:24.601 --> 00:03:26.200
it could be done or not.

111
00:03:26.200 --> 00:03:28.000
And I said, ''This won't get done.

112
00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:29.601
I think this can.'' And I won.

113
00:03:29.601 --> 00:03:31.200
And I started to believe that if you're totally sincere and you

114
00:03:31.200 --> 00:03:32.567
care about people and you're real and work your tail off, you

115
00:03:32.567 --> 00:03:34.234
can reach anybody.

116
00:03:34.234 --> 00:03:35.901
And so I started to do that.

117
00:03:35.901 --> 00:03:37.534
I started speaking.

118
00:03:37.534 --> 00:03:38.968
And then it just kind of grew.

119
00:03:38.968 --> 00:03:40.334
You know, it grew into a business for me, eventually.

120
00:03:40.334 --> 00:03:41.667
I went to work for Jim Rowley--

121
00:03:41.667 --> 00:03:43.033
Right.

122
00:03:43.033 --> 00:03:44.400
--the speaker. And then I started my own

123
00:03:44.400 --> 00:03:47.467
company, and I brokered other speakers.

124
00:03:47.467 --> 00:03:49.234
And then gradually, I became better than most of the people I

125
00:03:49.234 --> 00:03:51.167
was brokering.

126
00:03:51.167 --> 00:03:53.367
And then I came across tools where I could-- that other

127
00:03:53.367 --> 00:03:55.234
people had developed, where I could take somebody with a

128
00:03:55.234 --> 00:03:57.234
lifetime phobia, and instead of taking the traditional four,

129
00:03:57.234 --> 00:03:58.968
five, six years to cure it-- (crosstalk)

130
00:03:58.968 --> 00:04:00.834
--fifteen minutes.

131
00:04:00.834 --> 00:04:02.901
Yeah, fifteen minutes to an hour.

132
00:04:02.901 --> 00:04:04.701
Yeah.

133
00:04:04.701 --> 00:04:06.567
I mean, there's a famous story about something, I've forgotten

134
00:04:06.567 --> 00:04:08.300
now, but it was a-- somebody had some kind of phobia.

135
00:04:08.300 --> 00:04:09.834
What was it?

136
00:04:09.834 --> 00:04:11.501
Snake phobia, yeah.

137
00:04:11.501 --> 00:04:13.000
Snake phobia?

138
00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:14.534
Yeah.

139
00:04:14.534 --> 00:04:16.033
(crosstalk) A psychiatrist--

140
00:04:16.033 --> 00:04:17.567
--seven years, and you did

141
00:04:17.567 --> 00:04:19.067
it in fifteen minutes.

142
00:04:19.067 --> 00:04:20.968
Yeah.

143
00:04:20.968 --> 00:04:22.868
But what made my career was that I was attacked by the

144
00:04:22.868 --> 00:04:24.801
psychiatrist on the radio, saying, ''You're a liar.

145
00:04:24.801 --> 00:04:26.767
You're a charlatan.

146
00:04:26.767 --> 00:04:28.467
People like you should not be allowed on the radio.

147
00:04:28.467 --> 00:04:30.267
You can't do this.'' And so I was a real rebel, frankly, and I

148
00:04:30.267 --> 00:04:31.868
was, like, in his face, saying, ''Great.

149
00:04:31.868 --> 00:04:33.534
Are you a scientist?

150
00:04:33.534 --> 00:04:35.067
If you are, then test your hypothesis.

151
00:04:35.067 --> 00:04:36.467
Give me your patient.

152
00:04:36.467 --> 00:04:37.734
I'll be at the Holiday Inn tomorrow night.'' And so it was

153
00:04:37.734 --> 00:04:38.968
like this shootout.

154
00:04:38.968 --> 00:04:40.133
It was like a movie.

155
00:04:40.133 --> 00:04:41.234
He brought her.

156
00:04:41.234 --> 00:04:42.334
I wiped it out.

157
00:04:42.334 --> 00:04:43.400
I wrapped the snake around her.

158
00:04:43.400 --> 00:04:44.467
A phobia's an uncontrollable physical

159
00:04:44.467 --> 00:04:45.501
response to some stimulus.

160
00:04:45.501 --> 00:04:46.534
You know, it's not just fear, it's shaking, spitting--

161
00:04:46.534 --> 00:04:48.567
Right. Right.

162
00:04:48.567 --> 00:04:49.567
At the end (unintelligible) he worked on

163
00:04:49.567 --> 00:04:50.567
her for seven years.

164
00:04:50.567 --> 00:04:51.601
So that became my signature was to challenge.

165
00:04:51.601 --> 00:04:52.601
And then gradually, I grew, because I was really just trying

166
00:04:52.601 --> 00:04:53.601
to prove to everybody and myself, as well, that I was

167
00:04:53.601 --> 00:04:54.601
worthy, rather than, you know, maturing a little bit and just

168
00:04:54.601 --> 00:04:55.601
knowing that there are skill sets that are

169
00:04:55.601 --> 00:04:56.868
valuable for everybody.

170
00:04:56.868 --> 00:04:58.067
I mean, is the common denominator that stops

171
00:04:58.067 --> 00:04:59.200
most people because-- what?

172
00:04:59.200 --> 00:05:00.133
I'm not trying to simplify your work and--

173
00:05:00.133 --> 00:05:01.100
No, no. I--

174
00:05:01.100 --> 00:05:02.033
--it would be--

175
00:05:02.033 --> 00:05:02.968
It's very helpful to do it. I-- I'd say

176
00:05:02.968 --> 00:05:03.901
there's two things.

177
00:05:03.901 --> 00:05:05.100
Everybody on Earth-- because I've been with more than two

178
00:05:05.100 --> 00:05:06.033
million people in individual minute

179
00:05:06.033 --> 00:05:07.000
sessions, from, you know--

180
00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:07.934
Right.

181
00:05:07.934 --> 00:05:08.868
--a kid to the president, you know, in

182
00:05:08.868 --> 00:05:09.834
countries all over the world, 75 countries.

183
00:05:09.834 --> 00:05:11.467
Right.

184
00:05:11.467 --> 00:05:13.100
You could be-- you have to be an idiot not to

185
00:05:13.100 --> 00:05:15.033
see that there are patterns.

186
00:05:15.033 --> 00:05:16.634
While everybody may want different things-- you know, you

187
00:05:16.634 --> 00:05:18.367
may have grown up wanting life to be a certain way or a

188
00:05:18.367 --> 00:05:20.167
different way-- we have the same needs worldwide

189
00:05:20.167 --> 00:05:22.000
because we're humans.

190
00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:23.868
We all need certainty, and if we don't have it, we freak out.

191
00:05:23.868 --> 00:05:25.534
What does ''certainty'' mean?

192
00:05:25.534 --> 00:05:27.033
''Certainty'' is if you are at a time in your

193
00:05:27.033 --> 00:05:28.400
life where you're uncertain about your relationship or your

194
00:05:28.400 --> 00:05:29.701
health or your career or your finances--

195
00:05:29.701 --> 00:05:30.901
Right. Right.

196
00:05:30.901 --> 00:05:33.467
Right.

197
00:05:33.467 --> 00:05:34.834
--you freak out.

198
00:05:34.834 --> 00:05:36.334
It is the survival instinct to be certain.

199
00:05:36.334 --> 00:05:37.801
How you get it is totally individual.

200
00:05:37.801 --> 00:05:39.367
Some people get it by smoking a cigarette, and they relax, and

201
00:05:39.367 --> 00:05:41.133
they feel certain that they're OK and they're comfortable, some

202
00:05:41.133 --> 00:05:42.701
people by eating, some people by doing drugs.

203
00:05:42.701 --> 00:05:44.133
Some people do it by developing a skill set that's so strong.

204
00:05:44.133 --> 00:05:45.467
Some people do it by, you know, knowing they can tear other

205
00:05:45.467 --> 00:05:47.000
people down--

206
00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:48.801
Sure.

207
00:05:48.801 --> 00:05:50.334
--you know? So everybody meets the need.

208
00:05:50.334 --> 00:05:52.234
The only question is, do you do it in a way that is positive,

209
00:05:52.234 --> 00:05:53.901
neutral or negative to your life long-term and to

210
00:05:53.901 --> 00:05:55.501
other people's lives.

211
00:05:55.501 --> 00:05:57.000
So we need certainty, but if we get total certainty, we freak

212
00:05:57.000 --> 00:05:58.467
out because we get bored.

213
00:05:58.467 --> 00:05:59.901
So God has a sense of humor.

214
00:05:59.901 --> 00:06:01.234
We have a need for uncertainty.

215
00:06:01.234 --> 00:06:02.567
We have a need for variety, for surprise, for challenge.

216
00:06:02.567 --> 00:06:04.901
Right. Right.

217
00:06:04.901 --> 00:06:06.667
And most people go back and

218
00:06:06.667 --> 00:06:08.434
forth between these.

219
00:06:08.434 --> 00:06:10.300
That's why they've always got a problem because they're trying

220
00:06:10.300 --> 00:06:12.067
to resolve it rather than finding that this paradox is a

221
00:06:12.067 --> 00:06:13.567
part of life and there's a way to experience both.

222
00:06:13.567 --> 00:06:15.033
When you go watch a movie--

223
00:06:15.033 --> 00:06:16.534
Yeah.

224
00:06:16.534 --> 00:06:18.000
--and you rent a video that you've already

225
00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:19.501
seen, it's because you're certain it's good and you're

226
00:06:19.501 --> 00:06:20.901
hoping you forgot enough that there's variety, and you get to

227
00:06:20.901 --> 00:06:22.534
meet both needs.

228
00:06:22.534 --> 00:06:24.467
There's a way to do it.

229
00:06:24.467 --> 00:06:26.200
We have a need for significance.

230
00:06:26.200 --> 00:06:27.734
We have a need to know that our life is unique and special.

231
00:06:27.734 --> 00:06:29.334
So some people do it by putting a gun to someone's head because

232
00:06:29.334 --> 00:06:30.934
it takes no education or background.

233
00:06:30.934 --> 00:06:32.501
Instantly, I'm significant.

234
00:06:32.501 --> 00:06:34.000
Yeah, because I killed somebody.

235
00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:35.601
Or I threaten somebody, and you're going to

236
00:06:35.601 --> 00:06:37.267
have to respond to me.

237
00:06:37.267 --> 00:06:38.801
I don't have to kill you.

238
00:06:38.801 --> 00:06:40.133
Some people do it by loving more than others.

239
00:06:40.133 --> 00:06:41.334
Some people do it by developing skills, and some people do it by

240
00:06:41.334 --> 00:06:42.767
having 22 earrings, you know, in one earlobe.

241
00:06:42.767 --> 00:06:44.534
How do you do it?

242
00:06:44.534 --> 00:06:46.534
Everybody does it.

243
00:06:46.534 --> 00:06:48.901
I do it primarily by my sense that-- honestly, it sounds

244
00:06:48.901 --> 00:06:51.167
horrible, but to be honest, it's by feeling I care more than

245
00:06:51.167 --> 00:06:53.133
almost anybody else, that I will just do anything for those I

246
00:06:53.133 --> 00:06:54.901
love, which includes the guy I meet on the street, frankly, you

247
00:06:54.901 --> 00:06:56.434
know, the people I meet in seminars, the

248
00:06:56.434 --> 00:06:58.100
people I don't meet.

249
00:06:58.100 --> 00:06:59.934
That's my nature.

250
00:06:59.934 --> 00:07:02.000
I love that.

251
00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:04.033
So I get that sense of significance from that.

252
00:07:04.033 --> 00:07:05.834
In other words, Tony says to himself, ''I am

253
00:07:05.834 --> 00:07:07.033
unique because I care more.''

254
00:07:07.033 --> 00:07:08.234
Yeah, which is bull-(deleted)

255
00:07:08.234 --> 00:07:09.434
''I am''--

256
00:07:09.434 --> 00:07:10.634
Which is bull-(deleted).

257
00:07:10.634 --> 00:07:11.834
I know it's bull-(deleted).

258
00:07:11.834 --> 00:07:13.367
All right.

259
00:07:13.367 --> 00:07:14.834
But I care so much--

260
00:07:14.834 --> 00:07:16.234
So but isn't there-- so explain that to me.

261
00:07:16.234 --> 00:07:17.534
If you know it's bull-(deleted), but it is the guiding principle

262
00:07:17.534 --> 00:07:18.968
for you because it makes-- you define your uniqueness because--

263
00:07:18.968 --> 00:07:20.367
Well, because knowing you

264
00:07:20.367 --> 00:07:21.801
care more, but also--

265
00:07:21.801 --> 00:07:23.234
--you say to yourself, ''I care more, and I'll

266
00:07:23.234 --> 00:07:24.667
act more on my caring''--

267
00:07:24.667 --> 00:07:25.868
Yeah, and I will--

268
00:07:25.868 --> 00:07:27.100
--''and most people''--

269
00:07:27.100 --> 00:07:28.300
--produce the result for people.

270
00:07:28.300 --> 00:07:29.501
So where's the bull-(deleted),

271
00:07:29.501 --> 00:07:30.734
that there are other--

272
00:07:30.734 --> 00:07:31.968
The bull-(deleted) is that--

273
00:07:31.968 --> 00:07:32.868
There are other people that-- (crosstalk)

274
00:07:32.868 --> 00:07:33.767
Yeah, I know that's bull-(deleted).

275
00:07:33.767 --> 00:07:34.667
Yeah.

276
00:07:34.667 --> 00:07:35.601
In the moment-- we all bull-(deleted)

277
00:07:35.601 --> 00:07:36.501
ourselves. In the moment, I tell myself that. But I always come

278
00:07:36.501 --> 00:07:37.400
back to reality, go, ''No, I don't care more,'' but I care

279
00:07:37.400 --> 00:07:38.300
enough to be a really unique person.

280
00:07:38.300 --> 00:07:39.934
And I also really have some unique skill sets

281
00:07:39.934 --> 00:07:41.367
in empowering people.

282
00:07:41.367 --> 00:07:42.767
And part of life is the balance between your bull-(deleted) and

283
00:07:42.767 --> 00:07:44.200
the truth and-- (crosstalk)

284
00:07:44.200 --> 00:07:45.601
It reminds me of James Dickey, the great poet

285
00:07:45.601 --> 00:07:47.000
from the South.

286
00:07:47.000 --> 00:07:49.200
James Dickey is a great poet who wrote a whole-- a lot of

287
00:07:49.200 --> 00:07:51.167
interesting things.

288
00:07:51.167 --> 00:07:53.100
And he once said to me that in the middle of the night, his

289
00:07:53.100 --> 00:07:55.067
wife-- he woke up, and his-- she's-- and his wife said,

290
00:07:55.067 --> 00:07:57.000
''What's wrong?''

291
00:07:57.000 --> 00:07:58.701
He said, ''I don't-- I know know.'' And she said, ''You've

292
00:07:58.701 --> 00:08:00.501
got to be yourself.'' And he says, ''I know.

293
00:08:00.501 --> 00:08:01.834
I know.

294
00:08:01.834 --> 00:08:04.501
But what self?'' (laughter)

295
00:08:04.501 --> 00:08:05.868
That's right! Well, this-- and if you're not

296
00:08:05.868 --> 00:08:07.200
a multiple, you can't survive in

297
00:08:07.200 --> 00:08:08.868
this society, you know?

298
00:08:08.868 --> 00:08:10.601
You're a one-dimensional person, you can't.

299
00:08:10.601 --> 00:08:12.400
Yeah.

300
00:08:12.400 --> 00:08:14.267
I tell people, you know (unintelligible)

301
00:08:14.267 --> 00:08:16.133
Anyway, last needs I'll just mention is connection and love

302
00:08:16.133 --> 00:08:17.634
because if you go for significance-- a lot of people

303
00:08:17.634 --> 00:08:19.100
that we both deal with--

304
00:08:19.100 --> 00:08:20.567
Right.

305
00:08:20.567 --> 00:08:22.033
--you know, they-- there's a lot of those

306
00:08:22.033 --> 00:08:23.501
people, their whole life is about getting significance.

307
00:08:23.501 --> 00:08:25.334
What we all really want is love.

308
00:08:25.334 --> 00:08:26.934
But love is a complex thing.

309
00:08:26.934 --> 00:08:28.667
You know, it can be taken away very easily.

310
00:08:28.667 --> 00:08:30.434
You can-- someone will love you one moment and pretend they

311
00:08:30.434 --> 00:08:32.300
don't the next.

312
00:08:32.300 --> 00:08:34.167
Much easier to make a lot of money.

313
00:08:34.167 --> 00:08:36.067
Much easier to interview somebody.

314
00:08:36.067 --> 00:08:37.534
Much easier to do something else that you feel more control over

315
00:08:37.534 --> 00:08:39.033
because you have--

316
00:08:39.033 --> 00:08:40.501
Than to do what?

317
00:08:40.501 --> 00:08:41.968
Than to love, where you're vulnerable to what

318
00:08:41.968 --> 00:08:43.434
somebody else may think or feel.

319
00:08:43.434 --> 00:08:45.100
That's how most people feel-- not all.

320
00:08:45.100 --> 00:08:47.100
So if you're totally unique, you feel separate, and you miss the

321
00:08:47.100 --> 00:08:49.133
feeling of love.

322
00:08:49.133 --> 00:08:50.934
If you're totally loving, very often, people know, ''God, I'm

323
00:08:50.934 --> 00:08:52.734
so loving,'' but rule one-- now, where's my identity?

324
00:08:52.734 --> 00:08:54.434
And you can get that love by having a problem, is the most

325
00:08:54.434 --> 00:08:56.300
common way in our society.

326
00:08:56.300 --> 00:08:59.334
So if you said to me, ''Tony, how's it going?''

327
00:08:59.334 --> 00:09:02.234
and I say, ''Oh, my God.

328
00:09:02.234 --> 00:09:05.000
My company went public, and $400 million in a day, and my

329
00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:07.501
daughter's on a new

330
00:09:07.501 --> 00:09:12.567
>>TV show: This is all true? (laughter)

331
00:09:12.567 --> 00:09:15.000
And you go, ''Screw you!' ' Right?

332
00:09:15.000 --> 00:09:17.501
Yeah, but--

333
00:09:17.501 --> 00:09:20.067
But if you say, ''Tony, how's it going?''

334
00:09:20.067 --> 00:09:22.701
and I go, ''I'm going through a divorce right now.

335
00:09:22.701 --> 00:09:25.267
It's the hardest decision of my life.

336
00:09:25.267 --> 00:09:27.934
My wife hurt-- she's a good woman.

337
00:09:27.934 --> 00:09:29.968
To feel her hurt kills me.

338
00:09:29.968 --> 00:09:32.000
It's hard on my daughter.''

339
00:09:32.000 --> 00:09:34.033
Right.

340
00:09:34.033 --> 00:09:36.067
You know, ''I'm exhausted. I had two hours'

341
00:09:36.067 --> 00:09:38.067
sleep yesterday.'' And you go, ''Hey,

342
00:09:38.067 --> 00:09:40.534
I understand.'' See, we live in a society where we reward people

343
00:09:40.534 --> 00:09:43.000
for having problems.

344
00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:45.400
That's why more people commiserate about problems.

345
00:09:45.400 --> 00:09:47.734
Then they fight over whose problem is bigger because if

346
00:09:47.734 --> 00:09:49.934
people do really well, very often what people do is, they

347
00:09:49.934 --> 00:09:52.100
go, ''Oh, they're into themselves,'' or what they're

348
00:09:52.100 --> 00:09:53.634
really saying is, ''That person is being somewhat significant in

349
00:09:53.634 --> 00:09:55.167
their mind, therefore I'm less significant.

350
00:09:55.167 --> 00:09:56.701
I want to bring them back to level.''

351
00:09:56.701 --> 00:09:58.234
So tell me what you think you

352
00:09:58.234 --> 00:09:59.767
need the most-- you.

353
00:09:59.767 --> 00:10:01.234
Well, that's a good question because I think

354
00:10:01.234 --> 00:10:02.567
knowing which needs you prioritize shapes the direction

355
00:10:02.567 --> 00:10:03.834
of your life.

356
00:10:03.834 --> 00:10:05.033
Exactly.

357
00:10:05.033 --> 00:10:06.167
That's why I asked.

358
00:10:06.167 --> 00:10:07.033
So the top two of the--

359
00:10:07.033 --> 00:10:07.901
(unintelligible) you've thought about this.

360
00:10:07.901 --> 00:10:08.767
This is not (unintelligible)

361
00:10:08.767 --> 00:10:09.601
Of course, because when I deal with someone

362
00:10:09.601 --> 00:10:10.467
to help them, I've got to know

363
00:10:10.467 --> 00:10:11.501
which one's a priority.

364
00:10:11.501 --> 00:10:12.534
Yeah.

365
00:10:12.534 --> 00:10:13.567
All right.

366
00:10:13.567 --> 00:10:14.567
So you.

367
00:10:14.567 --> 00:10:15.601
For me, love is number one, and contribution

368
00:10:15.601 --> 00:10:16.601
is number two.

369
00:10:16.601 --> 00:10:17.601
The last two needs are you must grow and you must contribute

370
00:10:17.601 --> 00:10:18.601
beyond yourself.

371
00:10:18.601 --> 00:10:19.601
If you don't grow, I don't-- it's-- success

372
00:10:19.601 --> 00:10:20.634
doesn't make you happy.

373
00:10:20.634 --> 00:10:21.567
Progress does.

374
00:10:21.567 --> 00:10:22.501
If you don't feel like you're growing--

375
00:10:22.501 --> 00:10:23.434
Yeah.

376
00:10:23.434 --> 00:10:24.367
--you feel like you're dying. And everything

377
00:10:24.367 --> 00:10:25.300
(unintelligible) grows or dies, and everything

378
00:10:25.300 --> 00:10:26.367
contributes, or evolution eliminates it.

379
00:10:26.367 --> 00:10:27.434
And so we don't feel fulfilled-- you can meet those first four

380
00:10:27.434 --> 00:10:28.267
needs by doing terrible things.

381
00:10:28.267 --> 00:10:29.234
You can join a gang, and you're a Crip.

382
00:10:29.234 --> 00:10:30.267
You're significant, baby!

383
00:10:30.267 --> 00:10:31.300
You have arrived.

384
00:10:31.300 --> 00:10:32.467
Somebody can shot you at any moment.

385
00:10:32.467 --> 00:10:34.033
You have certainty.

386
00:10:34.033 --> 00:10:35.734
People are going to respond to you.

387
00:10:35.734 --> 00:10:37.400
You know, you got connection with the brothers.

388
00:10:37.400 --> 00:10:39.067
But you don't really have growth and contribution, so you won't

389
00:10:39.067 --> 00:10:41.167
be fulfilled, but you'll have your basic needs be met.

390
00:10:41.167 --> 00:10:43.300
Very few people get fulfilled.

391
00:10:43.300 --> 00:10:45.501
For me, those are the two.

392
00:10:45.501 --> 00:10:47.934
But if you meet somebody, and their need is-- let's say Donald

393
00:10:47.934 --> 00:10:50.300
Trump, a guy that I know very well and I like a lot.

394
00:10:50.300 --> 00:10:52.367
I (unintelligible) like Donald because Donald is significant

395
00:10:52.367 --> 00:10:54.234
(unintelligible) And so what-- he has got

396
00:10:54.234 --> 00:10:56.133
to get that significance.

397
00:10:56.133 --> 00:10:57.767
Oh, he's more than that!

398
00:10:57.767 --> 00:11:01.133
You know? (crosstalk)

399
00:11:01.133 --> 00:11:02.634
--very simplistic definition of Donald Trump.

400
00:11:02.634 --> 00:11:04.000
I-- it's overly simplistic.

401
00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:05.000
But I tell you, I've known him for the last year or two, and

402
00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:06.033
the guy--

403
00:11:06.033 --> 00:11:07.067
So have I. I have--

404
00:11:07.067 --> 00:11:08.067
When he's comfortable with you, he's such a

405
00:11:08.067 --> 00:11:09.100
loving guy, it's amazing.

406
00:11:09.100 --> 00:11:10.167
No question he's a lovable guy, but at the same

407
00:11:10.167 --> 00:11:11.400
time, I mean, he's drives you nuts because he's got to put his

408
00:11:11.400 --> 00:11:12.868
name on everything!

409
00:11:12.868 --> 00:11:14.901
That's true.

410
00:11:14.901 --> 00:11:17.334
I mean, the GM building was a terrific building

411
00:11:17.334 --> 00:11:20.234
until he had to plaster ''Trump.'' Now, you could argue

412
00:11:20.234 --> 00:11:23.133
about Donald that he does that because-- because-- he will say

413
00:11:23.133 --> 00:11:25.801
''My name on it enhances the value of the building.'' Or he

414
00:11:25.801 --> 00:11:28.300
will say, ''Putting my name on it, as garish as it is, makes

415
00:11:28.300 --> 00:11:30.400
the building-- it promotes my name.

416
00:11:30.400 --> 00:11:32.367
And anything that enhances my name enhances my brand''--

417
00:11:32.367 --> 00:11:34.601
Business and--

418
00:11:34.601 --> 00:11:37.367
--''and my business.

419
00:11:37.367 --> 00:11:39.834
And so therefore''-- (crosstalk) These are all appropriate

420
00:11:39.834 --> 00:11:41.934
motives, and I don't-- and finally, he will say, in the end

421
00:11:41.934 --> 00:11:44.000
-- and there's something-- there's something interesting

422
00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:45.801
about this.

423
00:11:45.801 --> 00:11:47.634
In the-- I guess.

424
00:11:47.634 --> 00:11:49.300
Now, I'm transporting all these things that I think he thinks,

425
00:11:49.300 --> 00:11:50.767
not what he thinks.

426
00:11:50.767 --> 00:11:52.133
Nobody really knows.

427
00:11:52.133 --> 00:11:54.934
I don't know. Exactly.

428
00:11:54.934 --> 00:11:57.300
Yeah.

429
00:11:57.300 --> 00:11:58.934
He might say also, ''In the end, I'm so

430
00:11:58.934 --> 00:12:00.534
secure that I do it because I want to do it.

431
00:12:00.534 --> 00:12:02.167
And in the end, I don't care what you think.''

432
00:12:02.167 --> 00:12:03.801
(unintelligible) that's absolutely true. He

433
00:12:03.801 --> 00:12:05.434
feels he's significant enough to do that.

434
00:12:05.434 --> 00:12:07.501
Exactly.

435
00:12:07.501 --> 00:12:09.501
But if you spend any time with Donald-- and

436
00:12:09.501 --> 00:12:11.467
Donald says you're not a person I'd take advantage of-- he's one

437
00:12:11.467 --> 00:12:13.300
of the most generous people you'd ever meet.

438
00:12:13.300 --> 00:12:15.100
Yeah.

439
00:12:15.100 --> 00:12:16.868
He's a caring guy.

440
00:12:16.868 --> 00:12:18.067
He wants to be cared for, like everybody.

441
00:12:18.067 --> 00:12:19.267
But most men, Charlie--

442
00:12:19.267 --> 00:12:20.501
And written about!

443
00:12:20.501 --> 00:12:21.701
And written about. But most men-- listen, all

444
00:12:21.701 --> 00:12:22.901
he is, is an atypical man.

445
00:12:22.901 --> 00:12:24.467
Yeah.

446
00:12:24.467 --> 00:12:26.100
Most men-- what's the longest, greatest

447
00:12:26.100 --> 00:12:27.067
story in history?

448
00:12:27.067 --> 00:12:28.000
It's the story of the hero, as you well know--

449
00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:28.968
Right.

450
00:12:28.968 --> 00:12:29.934
--and it's always-- almost always, in most

451
00:12:29.934 --> 00:12:30.901
cultures, been a male who had to sacrifice

452
00:12:30.901 --> 00:12:31.834
everything so he'll be

453
00:12:31.834 --> 00:12:33.033
significant enough that he'll be loved.

454
00:12:33.033 --> 00:12:34.434
Yeah.

455
00:12:34.434 --> 00:12:35.734
So you got these boys who go kill everybody

456
00:12:35.734 --> 00:12:36.968
in, you know, the school--

457
00:12:36.968 --> 00:12:38.133
So all of a sudden, whatever we do--

458
00:12:38.133 --> 00:12:39.267
--so they can be significant.

459
00:12:39.267 --> 00:12:40.334
--is because we want to be heroes?

460
00:12:40.334 --> 00:12:41.267
No.

461
00:12:41.267 --> 00:12:42.968
Not everybody has significance as their number-one need.

462
00:12:42.968 --> 00:12:44.701
Oh.

463
00:12:44.701 --> 00:12:46.467
You see?

464
00:12:46.467 --> 00:12:49.133
So those boys-- those boys in Colorado, who did they kill?

465
00:12:49.133 --> 00:12:51.634
All the people who made them feel insignificant.

466
00:12:51.634 --> 00:12:53.767
They killed the cheerleaders--

467
00:12:53.767 --> 00:12:55.868
I thought they killed because--

468
00:12:55.868 --> 00:12:57.934
--the jocks--

469
00:12:57.934 --> 00:12:59.734
--they hated--

470
00:12:59.734 --> 00:13:01.334
Yeah, but--

471
00:13:01.334 --> 00:13:03.033
They said that going in--

472
00:13:03.033 --> 00:13:04.567
But wait a minute--

473
00:13:04.567 --> 00:13:06.067
They said that going in.

474
00:13:06.067 --> 00:13:07.601
Right.

475
00:13:07.601 --> 00:13:08.934
They said going in that-- that

476
00:13:08.934 --> 00:13:10.267
''You made me feel''--

477
00:13:10.267 --> 00:13:11.434
Right.

478
00:13:11.434 --> 00:13:12.567
--''awful, and we weren't

479
00:13:12.567 --> 00:13:13.701
accepted by you, so therefore''--

480
00:13:13.701 --> 00:13:14.767
''You made me feel insignificant.'' But who

481
00:13:14.767 --> 00:13:15.868
was it?

482
00:13:15.868 --> 00:13:16.834
They also killed--

483
00:13:16.834 --> 00:13:17.767
All those people. They killed other people

484
00:13:17.767 --> 00:13:18.734
once they got-- (crosstalk)

485
00:13:18.734 --> 00:13:19.701
--the women who asked-- they asked ''You still

486
00:13:19.701 --> 00:13:20.667
believe in Jesus?' ' and she said ''Yes.'' I mean--

487
00:13:20.667 --> 00:13:22.234
But what did that give them? A sense of power.

488
00:13:22.234 --> 00:13:23.834
Of course they did. We understand that.

489
00:13:23.834 --> 00:13:25.367
I mean, that-- but that's why people join gangs because it

490
00:13:25.367 --> 00:13:27.000
gives them an identity and--

491
00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:28.501
That's my point.

492
00:13:28.501 --> 00:13:29.868
But not everybody's driven by that.

493
00:13:29.868 --> 00:13:31.234
Some people are more driven by love.

494
00:13:31.234 --> 00:13:32.534
Some of them are driven by certainty.

495
00:13:32.534 --> 00:13:33.767
But are you saying to me you're more driven

496
00:13:33.767 --> 00:13:35.133
by love than significance?

497
00:13:35.133 --> 00:13:36.467
Without a doubt.

498
00:13:36.467 --> 00:13:37.834
Do you think so?

499
00:13:37.834 --> 00:13:39.534
I know so.

500
00:13:39.534 --> 00:13:41.100
How do you prove it to me?

501
00:13:41.100 --> 00:13:42.601
I don't need to.

502
00:13:42.601 --> 00:13:43.701


503
00:13:43.701 --> 00:13:44.834
I'll tell you why--

504
00:13:44.834 --> 00:13:45.934
I mean, give me an example.

505
00:13:45.934 --> 00:13:47.067
I'll tell you why. The reason I can walk in a

506
00:13:47.067 --> 00:13:48.200
room of-- I just did Silicon

507
00:13:48.200 --> 00:13:49.501
Graphics, their top 30 executives.

508
00:13:49.501 --> 00:13:50.868
Right.

509
00:13:50.868 --> 00:13:52.234
Right?

510
00:13:52.234 --> 00:13:53.567
Unbelievably skeptical, let's say, just to say that--

511
00:13:53.567 --> 00:13:54.934
Because these are smart guys who make a ton of

512
00:13:54.934 --> 00:13:56.000
money, and they're saying, ''What can Robbins possibly

513
00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:57.067
teach us''--

514
00:13:57.067 --> 00:13:58.133
Yeah, some positive-thinking guy--

515
00:13:58.133 --> 00:13:59.200
--''that we don't know about

516
00:13:59.200 --> 00:14:00.234
life?' ' That's right.

517
00:14:00.234 --> 00:14:01.834
(crosstalk) Exactly.

518
00:14:01.834 --> 00:14:03.334
''He's one more tall guy coming in here telling us the secret to

519
00:14:03.334 --> 00:14:04.834
life, and we've already heard it.

520
00:14:04.834 --> 00:14:06.234
And not only that, we've practiced it.''

521
00:14:06.234 --> 00:14:07.534
Right. Or I go to a-- tomorrow I'm in Boston.

522
00:14:07.534 --> 00:14:08.767
I'll have 15,000 people.

523
00:14:08.767 --> 00:14:10.100
So in that group, you're going to have every one of the people

524
00:14:10.100 --> 00:14:11.567
you can think of.

525
00:14:11.567 --> 00:14:12.934
You'll have people there think I'm an idiot because they

526
00:14:12.934 --> 00:14:14.434
heard-- they came to see, you know, somebody else.

527
00:14:14.434 --> 00:14:15.868
See, this reminds me of my favorite

528
00:14:15.868 --> 00:14:17.367
Donald Trump story.

529
00:14:17.367 --> 00:14:18.901
Right.

530
00:14:18.901 --> 00:14:20.334
Which is that he evidently was promoting the

531
00:14:20.334 --> 00:14:21.767
fact, and somebody was doing a profile of him, that he had

532
00:14:21.767 --> 00:14:23.234
drawn 15,000 people to a meeting in Miami, I think it was.

533
00:14:23.234 --> 00:14:24.734
It wasn't 15,000 people come to see Donald Trump.

534
00:14:24.734 --> 00:14:26.167
You they came to see because they thought they'd get some

535
00:14:26.167 --> 00:14:27.467
secret to life.

536
00:14:27.467 --> 00:14:28.901
Well, I think they came to see Donald, too.

537
00:14:28.901 --> 00:14:30.400
But the point is--

538
00:14:30.400 --> 00:14:32.000
That's not what the piece said!

539
00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:33.634
Well, I know it's not what the piece said,

540
00:14:33.634 --> 00:14:35.334
but the media isn't always totally accurate.

541
00:14:35.334 --> 00:14:37.100
Oh, come on!

542
00:14:37.100 --> 00:14:38.767
But the point of the matter is, if you look

543
00:14:38.767 --> 00:14:40.300
at, you know, what-- you know, what pushes somebody's buttons,

544
00:14:40.300 --> 00:14:41.734
it's not what pushes their buttons when people are around,

545
00:14:41.734 --> 00:14:43.033
it's what pushes their buttons when no one's around.

546
00:14:43.033 --> 00:14:44.300
And so--

547
00:14:44.300 --> 00:14:45.567
Right.

548
00:14:45.567 --> 00:14:46.834
--the way you can do it is to talk to people

549
00:14:46.834 --> 00:14:48.100
who know me and work with me and have been with me 15 years.

550
00:14:48.100 --> 00:14:49.801
I mean, they'll tell you what-- I mean, there's no question.

551
00:14:49.801 --> 00:14:50.868
I don't have to explain to them--

552
00:14:50.868 --> 00:14:51.901
OK, but-- (crosstalk)

553
00:14:51.901 --> 00:14:52.968
The reason I said SGI is--

554
00:14:52.968 --> 00:14:54.033
But you're talking about-- (crosstalk) --love

555
00:14:54.033 --> 00:14:55.067
for your children, love for the new woman in your

556
00:14:55.067 --> 00:14:56.133
life, love for what?

557
00:14:56.133 --> 00:14:58.300
Love people for people and life.

558
00:14:58.300 --> 00:15:00.167
Love to see people alive.

559
00:15:00.167 --> 00:15:01.501
Way back to the kid thing that you were talking

560
00:15:01.501 --> 00:15:02.801
about in terms of--

561
00:15:02.801 --> 00:15:03.901
Oh, that's--

562
00:15:03.901 --> 00:15:05.000
--giving the money away when you went to the

563
00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:06.067
liquor store.

564
00:15:06.067 --> 00:15:07.167
That hasn't changed. These guys who went in

565
00:15:07.167 --> 00:15:08.267
there-- I have the strength to be able to

566
00:15:08.267 --> 00:15:09.801
go ahead toe to toe with anybody, but I'm not stupid.

567
00:15:09.801 --> 00:15:11.434
I go toe to toe with you, all you're going to do is fight me.

568
00:15:11.434 --> 00:15:12.901
So if I need to show you that (unintelligible) you're going to

569
00:15:12.901 --> 00:15:14.267
come in strong.

570
00:15:14.267 --> 00:15:15.534
I'm going to be strong for seconds, and we build some

571
00:15:15.534 --> 00:15:16.734
rapport, and then I can say, ''Look,'' you know?

572
00:15:16.734 --> 00:15:17.901
''Look'' what?

573
00:15:17.901 --> 00:15:18.934
''Look, I'm just here to try

574
00:15:18.934 --> 00:15:20.367
and help, if I can.

575
00:15:20.367 --> 00:15:21.868
I don't have all the answers.''

576
00:15:21.868 --> 00:15:23.434
Yeah. Right!

577
00:15:23.434 --> 00:15:24.934
''But here's something there''-- I don't

578
00:15:24.934 --> 00:15:26.501
think-- if you try to get up as a speaker-- there's a man I used

579
00:15:26.501 --> 00:15:28.167
to work with in one of these venues that we did, big events.

580
00:15:28.167 --> 00:15:29.934
Yeah.

581
00:15:29.934 --> 00:15:32.000
And he used to put comment sheets in, and he

582
00:15:32.000 --> 00:15:33.734
used to get ranked the lowest guy in the group, and they'd say

583
00:15:33.734 --> 00:15:35.534
''Tear this guy off the stage.'' And his problem was, everything

584
00:15:35.534 --> 00:15:37.467
was about himself, proving how significant he was to everybody.

585
00:15:37.467 --> 00:15:39.067
Yeah.

586
00:15:39.067 --> 00:15:40.801
So I went to him, and I said, ''You keep

587
00:15:40.801 --> 00:15:42.434
demanding significance, and if you will just go out and''--

588
00:15:42.434 --> 00:15:44.033
''And be.''

589
00:15:44.033 --> 00:15:45.901
--''and try to serve''--

590
00:15:45.901 --> 00:15:47.501
Yeah.

591
00:15:47.501 --> 00:15:49.000
--not lead--

592
00:15:49.000 --> 00:15:49.968
Exactly.

593
00:15:49.968 --> 00:15:51.033
Real leaders serve, you know?

594
00:15:51.033 --> 00:15:52.033
No, I said ''be.'' I said ''be.''

595
00:15:52.033 --> 00:15:53.067
Oh, ''be''? I'm sorry. I misheard you.

596
00:15:53.067 --> 00:15:54.067
Yeah.

597
00:15:54.067 --> 00:15:55.100
If you just go out there and share and be and

598
00:15:55.100 --> 00:15:56.100
care about these people and try to serve these people instead of

599
00:15:56.100 --> 00:15:57.434
positioning with these people, they will adore you.

600
00:15:57.434 --> 00:15:58.667
It's like my-- here's my experience.

601
00:15:58.667 --> 00:16:00.267
If you love people, they will make you significant because so

602
00:16:00.267 --> 00:16:01.968
few people are willing to unconditionally love.

603
00:16:01.968 --> 00:16:03.734
So very few people want to do that.

604
00:16:03.734 --> 00:16:05.467
Again, you know everything about this, and I

605
00:16:05.467 --> 00:16:07.200
know nothing.

606
00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:08.934
If-- having said that--

607
00:16:08.934 --> 00:16:10.701
That's not true. You're a human being, so

608
00:16:10.701 --> 00:16:12.434
you're a practical psychologist.

609
00:16:12.434 --> 00:16:14.367
Having said that, every great trial lawyer I've

610
00:16:14.367 --> 00:16:16.300
ever met--

611
00:16:16.300 --> 00:16:18.234
Yes.

612
00:16:18.234 --> 00:16:20.200
--will tell you the best way, the only way-- or

613
00:16:20.200 --> 00:16:22.133
the best way, not always the only way-- is to say to that

614
00:16:22.133 --> 00:16:24.067
jury, ''Help me.''

615
00:16:24.067 --> 00:16:26.000
Sure.

616
00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:27.934
Give yourself to the jury. Say to that jury--

617
00:16:27.934 --> 00:16:29.868
Gerry Spence says this.

618
00:16:29.868 --> 00:16:32.934
He's brilliant.

619
00:16:32.934 --> 00:16:36.234
''I am giving you every ounce of my brain and my

620
00:16:36.234 --> 00:16:39.300
energy and my body because-- and here it is.

621
00:16:39.300 --> 00:16:42.100
I have done everything I can to''-- you know.

622
00:16:42.100 --> 00:16:44.667
And therefore, that goes part of the way in having the jury

623
00:16:44.667 --> 00:16:47.267
identify with you, rather than you're the

624
00:16:47.267 --> 00:16:48.834
smartest, toughest, meanest--

625
00:16:48.834 --> 00:16:50.434
Yeah.

626
00:16:50.434 --> 00:16:52.000
--guy on the street.

627
00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:53.567
All that does is people say ''You think

628
00:16:53.567 --> 00:16:55.133
you're so significant?

629
00:16:55.133 --> 00:16:56.434
We're going to take you down to size.''

630
00:16:56.434 --> 00:16:59.000
Exactly. Right.

631
00:16:59.000 --> 00:17:00.300
Yeah, but I'll tell you

632
00:17:00.300 --> 00:17:01.567
something else, though,

633
00:17:01.567 --> 00:17:03.200
honestly, for me.

634
00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:05.033
I've only realized this, honestly, in

635
00:17:05.033 --> 00:17:06.701
the last nine months.

636
00:17:06.701 --> 00:17:08.434
I've made a lot of changes in my life and--

637
00:17:08.434 --> 00:17:10.100
In the last-- the last nine months?

638
00:17:10.100 --> 00:17:11.334
In the last nine months or so, I've made

639
00:17:11.334 --> 00:17:12.534
some distinctions.

640
00:17:12.534 --> 00:17:13.767
Like what?

641
00:17:13.767 --> 00:17:14.968
Like that I've lived most of

642
00:17:14.968 --> 00:17:16.200
my life, you know,

643
00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:17.434
certainly driven by love, but that my way of doing it has been

644
00:17:17.434 --> 00:17:18.534
through sacrifice, the hero's model, that I'll sacrifice

645
00:17:18.534 --> 00:17:19.634
everything so people know I really love them, you know?

646
00:17:19.634 --> 00:17:20.767
Right.

647
00:17:20.767 --> 00:17:21.868
And I realized how insane that

648
00:17:21.868 --> 00:17:22.968
is, and yet part

649
00:17:22.968 --> 00:17:24.968
of my wouldn't separate.

650
00:17:24.968 --> 00:17:27.033
So I've made the decision I will sacrifice for those I love, but

651
00:17:27.033 --> 00:17:29.100
I don't have to every single minute because I realized

652
00:17:29.100 --> 00:17:31.133
unconsciously I was always looking for ways.

653
00:17:31.133 --> 00:17:33.167
Now, with an audience, I do that, I win some people over

654
00:17:33.167 --> 00:17:35.200
because I will be on stage for 12 or 14 hours.

655
00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:37.367
They don't think they're going to sit for an hour.

656
00:17:37.367 --> 00:17:39.367
They have the time of their life because I've turned into a

657
00:17:39.367 --> 00:17:40.968
rock-and-roll concert, and physically, with my intensity,

658
00:17:40.968 --> 00:17:42.901
humor, everything I can, I-- I give every ounce of my body, my

659
00:17:42.901 --> 00:17:44.968
mind, my spirit.

660
00:17:44.968 --> 00:17:46.868
If I'm in pain, it's gone.

661
00:17:46.868 --> 00:17:48.567
It's totally about them, and they feel it.

662
00:17:48.567 --> 00:17:50.100
I'm working so hard up there, they finally go, ''Well, maybe I

663
00:17:50.100 --> 00:17:51.501
could do something here,'' you know?

664
00:17:51.501 --> 00:17:52.901
''Maybe I could stand up and really do this thing that he's

665
00:17:52.901 --> 00:17:54.300
talking about.'' It's like I-- what a leader

666
00:17:54.300 --> 00:17:55.734
does is you go first.

667
00:17:55.734 --> 00:17:57.300
Right.

668
00:17:57.300 --> 00:17:58.901
So I won't give that up in that context,

669
00:17:58.901 --> 00:18:00.467
but there's a balance where it becomes, you know, martyr.

670
00:18:00.467 --> 00:18:01.968
That is something I'm not.

671
00:18:01.968 --> 00:18:03.534
And the last nine months, I've realized that--

672
00:18:03.534 --> 00:18:05.033
Or a victim.

673
00:18:05.033 --> 00:18:06.434
Or a victim.

674
00:18:06.434 --> 00:18:07.567
I'll never be victim.

675
00:18:07.567 --> 00:18:09.234
OK. Right.

676
00:18:09.234 --> 00:18:09.868
But I have been a martyr, is the truth.

677
00:18:09.868 --> 00:18:10.934
Yeah.

678
00:18:10.934 --> 00:18:12.434
You know?

679
00:18:12.434 --> 00:18:14.367
Without admitting it.

680
00:18:14.367 --> 00:18:16.334
But me seeing that, that's not who I am, so you stop it.

681
00:18:16.334 --> 00:18:18.400
I think when you can see how you're being and how you're

682
00:18:18.400 --> 00:18:20.234
being is not who you are, you'll change in a instant when you

683
00:18:20.234 --> 00:18:22.067
have an awareness of that.

684
00:18:22.067 --> 00:18:23.801
But it's hard to change something you're

685
00:18:23.801 --> 00:18:25.367
not aware of it.

686
00:18:25.367 --> 00:18:26.901
And so now I feel like I'm-- I just turned 40, and somebody

687
00:18:26.901 --> 00:18:28.367
said, ''Oh, you're doing this and you're doing that,'' you

688
00:18:28.367 --> 00:18:30.567
know, ''You grew a beard and stuff?''

689
00:18:30.567 --> 00:18:31.667
Yeah.

690
00:18:31.667 --> 00:18:32.634
You know, and people freaking

691
00:18:32.634 --> 00:18:33.634
out over the most--

692
00:18:33.634 --> 00:18:34.634
Yeah.

693
00:18:34.634 --> 00:18:35.601
--stupid little things. And I'm having-- I'm

694
00:18:35.601 --> 00:18:36.601
really having fun.

695
00:18:36.601 --> 00:18:37.734
Now, what's with this beard?

696
00:18:37.734 --> 00:18:39.000
Yeah, it was like, ''What is this?''

697
00:18:39.000 --> 00:18:39.634
Come on. I mean--

698
00:18:39.634 --> 00:18:40.267
I said, ''I'm having a mid-life

699
00:18:40.267 --> 00:18:40.901
celebration.'' (laughter) I'm early, you know?

700
00:18:40.901 --> 00:18:41.434
Well, then, what is with the beard?

701
00:18:41.434 --> 00:18:42.033
Oh, I just-- I just wanted--

702
00:18:42.033 --> 00:18:43.100
You just decided you liked it?

703
00:18:43.100 --> 00:18:44.167
It was--

704
00:18:44.167 --> 00:18:45.934
Yeah. Right.

705
00:18:45.934 --> 00:18:47.501
--sort of a nice, interesting look and--

706
00:18:47.501 --> 00:18:48.901
I'd never done it. I changed--

707
00:18:48.901 --> 00:18:49.934
--and why change?

708
00:18:49.934 --> 00:18:50.968
Actually,

709
00:18:50.968 --> 00:18:52.000
>>GQ magazine did an article on me: Yeah!

710
00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:53.000
--perfect-- and I read that

711
00:18:53.000 --> 00:18:53.968
thing, and I thought--

712
00:18:53.968 --> 00:18:54.834
''That's it. I don't want to be that.''

713
00:18:54.834 --> 00:18:55.701
--''I'm tired of this. I'll try something

714
00:18:55.701 --> 00:18:56.567
else.'' And then--

715
00:18:56.567 --> 00:18:57.400
But then why a Van Dyke rather

716
00:18:57.400 --> 00:18:58.434
than a full whatever?

717
00:18:58.434 --> 00:18:59.467
Oh, I just liked (unintelligible)

718
00:18:59.467 --> 00:19:00.501
I mean, what's the--

719
00:19:00.501 --> 00:19:01.534
Just variety -- you know, something

720
00:19:01.534 --> 00:19:02.567
different. (crosstalk)

721
00:19:02.567 --> 00:19:04.167
You may shave it off a month for now.

722
00:19:04.167 --> 00:19:06.100
I might shave it off tomorrow.

723
00:19:06.100 --> 00:19:08.300
But what's happened is so many people said it either looked

724
00:19:08.300 --> 00:19:10.701
good or they got so freaked out about it because I'm like this

725
00:19:10.701 --> 00:19:13.267
icon for some people, being a certain way, that I thought--

726
00:19:13.267 --> 00:19:15.334
the rebel in me said, ''I'm going to wear this a little

727
00:19:15.334 --> 00:19:17.400
longer then, just to mess them with a little bit.

728
00:19:17.400 --> 00:19:19.501
Get a life.''

729
00:19:19.501 --> 00:19:21.567
D you-- do you believe that-- I've interviewed

730
00:19:21.567 --> 00:19:23.667
lots of very accomplished men and women.

731
00:19:23.667 --> 00:19:26.200
A number of them say I could start over tomorrow and do this.

732
00:19:26.200 --> 00:19:28.634
Yes.

733
00:19:28.634 --> 00:19:30.934
Do you believe that you have through a life

734
00:19:30.934 --> 00:19:33.167
process accumulated enough, for the lack of a better word,

735
00:19:33.167 --> 00:19:35.367
success skills so whatever you did you could be

736
00:19:35.367 --> 00:19:37.501
very good at it?

737
00:19:37.501 --> 00:19:39.601
Yeah, there's no question.

738
00:19:39.601 --> 00:19:41.667
It's not win-lose here -- be very good at it.

739
00:19:41.667 --> 00:19:43.734
It sounds like an egotistical answer, but all

740
00:19:43.734 --> 00:19:45.767
you're really asking me is do I have absolute

741
00:19:45.767 --> 00:19:47.734
certainty within myself?

742
00:19:47.734 --> 00:19:49.968
And the answer is yes, not because I'm so bright but

743
00:19:49.968 --> 00:19:51.901
because I have so much life experience and even with

744
00:19:51.901 --> 00:19:53.868
millions of people.

745
00:19:53.868 --> 00:19:55.834
I've been-- I've been on stage where Diane Sawyer is shooting

746
00:19:55.834 --> 00:19:57.801
the camera with a business group -- this is many

747
00:19:57.801 --> 00:19:59.767
years ago -- and

748
00:19:59.767 --> 00:20:02.167
it was a really important media piece, I thought, for my career

749
00:20:02.167 --> 00:20:04.501
because it was all these corporate executives and I

750
00:20:04.501 --> 00:20:06.734
wanted people to see that I wasn't some rah-rah guy.

751
00:20:06.734 --> 00:20:08.901
I hate the word ''motivation,'' by the way, because it's not

752
00:20:08.901 --> 00:20:11.033
what I really do.

753
00:20:11.033 --> 00:20:12.868
I really see myself as a strategist and that's what I do.

754
00:20:12.868 --> 00:20:14.534
But because I use energy also and that's easier for the camera

755
00:20:14.534 --> 00:20:16.234
to capture, that's really what it becomes and people don't know

756
00:20:16.234 --> 00:20:18.234
where else to put it.

757
00:20:18.234 --> 00:20:20.400
So it's a motivational thing.

758
00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:22.267
So while they're filming this top CEO, who's like, you know,

759
00:20:22.267 --> 00:20:24.167
very, very celebrated and I go, ''Wow.

760
00:20:24.167 --> 00:20:26.033
This is great positioning,'' this woman in the room -- who

761
00:20:26.033 --> 00:20:27.901
had 152 personalities, multiple personality

762
00:20:27.901 --> 00:20:29.801
disorder, right? MPD --

763
00:20:29.801 --> 00:20:31.868
One hundred and fifty-two?

764
00:20:31.868 --> 00:20:33.400
One hundred and fifty-two.

765
00:20:33.400 --> 00:20:34.901
She was one of the first MPD's in the country.

766
00:20:34.901 --> 00:20:36.434
She starts splitting -- ahhh!

767
00:20:36.434 --> 00:20:37.934
And she starts talking like this weird thing

768
00:20:37.934 --> 00:20:39.467
-- and then a little

769
00:20:39.467 --> 00:20:41.133
boy and a little girl.

770
00:20:41.133 --> 00:20:42.467
And I'm like, ''Oh, my God,'' you know.

771
00:20:42.467 --> 00:20:43.834
But I got up--

772
00:20:43.834 --> 00:20:45.167
She was a manager, was she?

773
00:20:45.167 --> 00:20:46.501
No. This is-- she was a woman from the

774
00:20:46.501 --> 00:20:47.868
general population attending

775
00:20:47.868 --> 00:20:49.667
the program.

776
00:20:49.667 --> 00:20:51.534
Fortunately, I had read her forms and it took me 45 minutes

777
00:20:51.534 --> 00:20:53.434
and I did-- you know, sometimes you just get in state.

778
00:20:53.434 --> 00:20:55.334
And I did some of the most magical work I've ever done.

779
00:20:55.334 --> 00:20:57.033
I integrated her for the first time.

780
00:20:57.033 --> 00:20:58.801
She had been in a psychiatric ward for 15 years.

781
00:20:58.801 --> 00:21:00.367
She had been studied by everybody and in therapy for all

782
00:21:00.367 --> 00:21:02.067
of these years.

783
00:21:02.067 --> 00:21:03.834
And Diane Sawyer's people saw it so it was magic because they

784
00:21:03.834 --> 00:21:05.534
captured it.

785
00:21:05.534 --> 00:21:06.968
They didn't do the story for a year.

786
00:21:06.968 --> 00:21:08.334
They followed her for a year because they said there's no way

787
00:21:08.334 --> 00:21:09.501
this can stick.

788
00:21:09.501 --> 00:21:10.767
They interviewed her psychiatrist.

789
00:21:10.767 --> 00:21:12.200
A year later, she's totally fine.

790
00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:13.801
She's still totally fine.

791
00:21:13.801 --> 00:21:15.234
That was such a defining moment.

792
00:21:15.234 --> 00:21:16.801
You have events like that with such a defining moment that your

793
00:21:16.801 --> 00:21:18.501
level of certainty that you can handle anything goes

794
00:21:18.501 --> 00:21:20.267
through the roof.

795
00:21:20.267 --> 00:21:21.834
I've had thousands of experiences like that.

796
00:21:21.834 --> 00:21:23.234
I've had, you know, the president of the United States

797
00:21:23.234 --> 00:21:24.567
calls me up the night of the inaug--

798
00:21:24.567 --> 00:21:25.801
of the-- not inauguration.

799
00:21:25.801 --> 00:21:27.000
I wish it was the inauguration.

800
00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:28.367
The night of the impeachment.

801
00:21:28.367 --> 00:21:29.901
You've got to deliver.

802
00:21:29.901 --> 00:21:31.567
What are you going to do?

803
00:21:31.567 --> 00:21:33.067
You know, I've had the sports figure melting down.

804
00:21:33.067 --> 00:21:34.701
So what's the conversation?

805
00:21:34.701 --> 00:21:36.133
He calls you up the night of the impeachment.

806
00:21:36.133 --> 00:21:37.501
Right.

807
00:21:37.501 --> 00:21:39.267
In other words, they're going to vote tomorrow.

808
00:21:39.267 --> 00:21:40.834
That's right.

809
00:21:40.834 --> 00:21:42.501
And says what?

810
00:21:42.501 --> 00:21:44.267
I'm not saying it to try and be--

811
00:21:44.267 --> 00:21:46.100
No, no. No, you're not at all.

812
00:21:46.100 --> 00:21:47.701
--mysterious or something like that.

813
00:21:47.701 --> 00:21:49.434
I don't talk about what someone says unless they talk about it.

814
00:21:49.434 --> 00:21:50.934
So athletes or, you know, Quincy Jones, if somebody has shared

815
00:21:50.934 --> 00:21:52.601
something, I share it.

816
00:21:52.601 --> 00:21:54.334
But the reason people call me is because I don't share their

817
00:21:54.334 --> 00:21:55.868
private conversations.

818
00:21:55.868 --> 00:21:57.300
OK, why did the president call you?

819
00:21:57.300 --> 00:21:58.868
He called because--

820
00:21:58.868 --> 00:22:00.534
What did he need?

821
00:22:00.534 --> 00:22:02.267
What did he need?

822
00:22:02.267 --> 00:22:03.767
He's getting coaching from a lot of different

823
00:22:03.767 --> 00:22:06.767
people -- me being only one of them. (crosstalk)

824
00:22:06.767 --> 00:22:08.267
See, I find this smart. I mean, I think he's

825
00:22:08.267 --> 00:22:09.534
reaching out--

826
00:22:09.534 --> 00:22:10.801
To many different sources, which is great.

827
00:22:10.801 --> 00:22:12.100
But the question is what?

828
00:22:12.100 --> 00:22:13.367
What do you-- well, the

829
00:22:13.367 --> 00:22:14.634
question in essence is

830
00:22:14.634 --> 00:22:16.367
what do you do?

831
00:22:16.367 --> 00:22:18.167
Right.

832
00:22:18.167 --> 00:22:19.767
You know, how do you deal with something.

833
00:22:19.767 --> 00:22:21.467
You've got choice points and how you evaluate the choice points.

834
00:22:21.467 --> 00:22:23.234
So what's your advice in a circumstance like

835
00:22:23.234 --> 00:22:25.067
this -- specific this?

836
00:22:25.067 --> 00:22:26.934
It depends-- Listen to you.

837
00:22:26.934 --> 00:22:28.834
You just wade right in there, don't you?

838
00:22:28.834 --> 00:22:30.767
I know you're good, but for godsakes.

839
00:22:30.767 --> 00:22:32.701
''I know you're not going to answer the question, but let me

840
00:22:32.701 --> 00:22:34.667
just ask you the question.''

841
00:22:34.667 --> 00:22:36.634
Specifically, what did you tell the president?

842
00:22:36.634 --> 00:22:38.000
I share with the president my point of view

843
00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:39.367
as a citizen in that case with as much passion as

844
00:22:39.367 --> 00:22:40.734
I can about what--

845
00:22:40.734 --> 00:22:42.100
But that's the attitude. What

846
00:22:42.100 --> 00:22:43.434
did you say specifically?

847
00:22:43.434 --> 00:22:44.968
I can't tell you in that situation.

848
00:22:44.968 --> 00:22:46.334
You can't?

849
00:22:46.334 --> 00:22:47.701
I'm not asking you what the president said.

850
00:22:47.701 --> 00:22:49.033
I'm saying what did you say?

851
00:22:49.033 --> 00:22:50.400
Because what I say would be

852
00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:51.767
reflective of what

853
00:22:51.767 --> 00:22:53.200
is private between he and I in that conversation.

854
00:22:53.200 --> 00:22:54.801
I'm not trying to be evasive, I'm just being respectful.

855
00:22:54.801 --> 00:22:56.234
OK.

856
00:22:56.234 --> 00:22:57.801
I hear you and I respect that.

857
00:22:57.801 --> 00:22:59.501
Now, but just--

858
00:22:59.501 --> 00:23:01.234
The point is-- the point was not that issue.

859
00:23:01.234 --> 00:23:02.834
The point is I'd had situations so many from the psychiatric

860
00:23:02.834 --> 00:23:04.234
situation to, you know--

861
00:23:04.234 --> 00:23:05.834
Another psychiatric situation-- (laughter)

862
00:23:05.834 --> 00:23:07.501
--where you've got to deliver now.

863
00:23:07.501 --> 00:23:09.000
You've got to do it now.

864
00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:10.634
And you've got to step up and deliver.

865
00:23:10.634 --> 00:23:12.100
I've been in situations where I look like it's

866
00:23:12.100 --> 00:23:13.734
going to be bankrupt.

867
00:23:13.734 --> 00:23:15.434
I've been in situations--

868
00:23:15.434 --> 00:23:16.968
I've got it. So my point is what do you say?

869
00:23:16.968 --> 00:23:18.367
In other words, I think is a very important point.

870
00:23:18.367 --> 00:23:19.667
Here it is you're facing some huge -- it doesn't get any huger

871
00:23:19.667 --> 00:23:20.667
than -- well, it does, but, I mean, it has to do with the loss

872
00:23:20.667 --> 00:23:22.300
of family.

873
00:23:22.300 --> 00:23:24.501
That's as tough as it gets.

874
00:23:24.501 --> 00:23:27.133
Someone said to me.

875
00:23:27.133 --> 00:23:29.501
Someone told me a conversation today and they were talking

876
00:23:29.501 --> 00:23:32.033
about the loss of a young son.

877
00:23:32.033 --> 00:23:34.901
And they said -- these were-- this is a very public, popular,

878
00:23:34.901 --> 00:23:37.801
well-known person.

879
00:23:37.801 --> 00:23:40.734
They said the agony is unbelievable.

880
00:23:40.734 --> 00:23:43.701
You cannot ever-- whatever I have-- whatever pain I've felt

881
00:23:43.701 --> 00:23:46.667
in my life, this is 100 times it, to lose a child.

882
00:23:46.667 --> 00:23:49.234
I just did a program in Palm Springs.

883
00:23:49.234 --> 00:23:51.934
I did a program called my Universal Program where I have

884
00:23:51.934 --> 00:23:54.868
people from 75 countries come and six languages

885
00:23:54.868 --> 00:23:57.834
are translated simultaneously.

886
00:23:57.834 --> 00:24:00.734
So it's the most diverse environment you can imagine.

887
00:24:00.734 --> 00:24:03.501
It's a seminar on discovering what are the beliefs and values

888
00:24:03.501 --> 00:24:06.100
that control every decision you make, every moment you're alive.

889
00:24:06.100 --> 00:24:08.534
Because you don't make decisions in a random vacuum.

890
00:24:08.534 --> 00:24:10.868
They come from your system of evaluation.

891
00:24:10.868 --> 00:24:13.100
I was trying not to say needs, but you have a different system

892
00:24:13.100 --> 00:24:15.300
of evaluation than I do.

893
00:24:15.300 --> 00:24:17.434
That's why we make different decisions.

894
00:24:17.434 --> 00:24:19.534
Most of us don't know why and how.

895
00:24:19.534 --> 00:24:21.868
One of the things I do as a very powerful demonstration is I

896
00:24:21.868 --> 00:24:24.100
look for someone who's suicidal.

897
00:24:24.100 --> 00:24:26.300
And in a group that large there's always a couple.

898
00:24:26.300 --> 00:24:28.434
And I usually do about 20 pages of homework about the most

899
00:24:28.434 --> 00:24:30.534
significant events of their life, decisions they've made.

900
00:24:30.534 --> 00:24:32.601
So I read that in advance.

901
00:24:32.601 --> 00:24:34.667
It's a very intensive, individual seminar.

902
00:24:34.667 --> 00:24:36.467
This last one I had a woman who has lost her daughter, the exact

903
00:24:36.467 --> 00:24:37.968
same thing.

904
00:24:37.968 --> 00:24:39.501
And I tried many things to get her through it, but eventually I

905
00:24:39.501 --> 00:24:41.000
had to become her.

906
00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:42.534
I had to, like, reverse roles -- have her

907
00:24:42.534 --> 00:24:44.033
become me and me become

908
00:24:44.033 --> 00:24:46.000
her, you know, to get her out of that state.

909
00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:47.968
How do you do that?

910
00:24:47.968 --> 00:24:49.667
Uh, it's-- it's, you know, we're always

911
00:24:49.667 --> 00:24:51.467
going through hypnosis, you and I.

912
00:24:51.467 --> 00:24:53.067
People watching, you know-- they go to hypnosis.

913
00:24:53.067 --> 00:24:54.767
Watch somebody on an elevator.

914
00:24:54.767 --> 00:24:56.534
They push a button and they look to the ceiling and stand there.

915
00:24:56.534 --> 00:24:58.133
Most people drive in hypnosis.

916
00:24:58.133 --> 00:24:59.801
Hypnosis means you focus internally instead of outside.

917
00:24:59.801 --> 00:25:01.567
And when you focus internally, you tend to evaluate

918
00:25:01.567 --> 00:25:03.367
things very differently.

919
00:25:03.367 --> 00:25:05.000
So all I do is I ask them questions.

920
00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:06.701
And when we ask somebody a question, they go inside.

921
00:25:06.701 --> 00:25:08.501
And when I ask those questions, I then start

922
00:25:08.501 --> 00:25:10.334
acting like she's acting.

923
00:25:10.334 --> 00:25:12.200
And then I said, ''You're me now.'' And that's all I said was

924
00:25:12.200 --> 00:25:14.100
''You're me.'' And then I don't let her be herself.

925
00:25:14.100 --> 00:25:16.033
But in doing it, I took on her physiology.

926
00:25:16.033 --> 00:25:17.734
I began to breath like she was breathing.

927
00:25:17.734 --> 00:25:19.534
Put the look on my face she was having.

928
00:25:19.534 --> 00:25:21.367
Now when you adopt someone's physiology, you literally begin

929
00:25:21.367 --> 00:25:23.234
to feel what they feel.

930
00:25:23.234 --> 00:25:25.033
And I actually in one of my seminars teach people to do this

931
00:25:25.033 --> 00:25:27.067
as a good way of building rapport.

932
00:25:27.067 --> 00:25:28.901
And you will-- a third of the people see what

933
00:25:28.901 --> 00:25:30.701
that person is seeing.

934
00:25:30.701 --> 00:25:32.801
Somebody they've never met and they'll go, ''You're on boat and

935
00:25:32.801 --> 00:25:35.234
there's a child with blonde hair and they're wearing something

936
00:25:35.234 --> 00:25:37.300
red and their name is Charles.'' And the person freaks out.

937
00:25:37.300 --> 00:25:39.334
This happens about a third of the time, no exaggeration.

938
00:25:39.334 --> 00:25:41.400
So-- and most of the time they get the same feeling.

939
00:25:41.400 --> 00:25:43.400
I felt what she's feeling.

940
00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:45.434
I started spontaneously just crying hysterically, which was

941
00:25:45.434 --> 00:25:47.467
kind of a freak out because I was trying to help her.

942
00:25:47.467 --> 00:25:49.467
I eventually was able to help her, but I was-- I have done

943
00:25:49.467 --> 00:25:51.467
this for 24 years of my life and I've dealt with-- I deal with

944
00:25:51.467 --> 00:25:53.501
suicide every time I turn around and show why the person--

945
00:25:53.501 --> 00:25:55.234
You can spot them?

946
00:25:55.234 --> 00:25:57.067
Oh, it's not difficult.

947
00:25:57.067 --> 00:25:58.667
One guy in the same room--

948
00:25:58.667 --> 00:26:00.400
But is it all demeanor?

949
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:01.934
It's all the way they--

950
00:26:01.934 --> 00:26:03.567
No, it's all demeanor.

951
00:26:03.567 --> 00:26:05.067
Sometimes people have a great external demeanor but I've read

952
00:26:05.067 --> 00:26:06.667
their forms.

953
00:26:06.667 --> 00:26:08.133
I know what's going on in their life.

954
00:26:08.133 --> 00:26:09.467
Oh, I see.

955
00:26:09.467 --> 00:26:11.000
And then sometimes they just volunteer.

956
00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:12.601
I say, ''Who is suicidal here?''

957
00:26:12.601 --> 00:26:14.100
you know.

958
00:26:14.100 --> 00:26:15.701
And someone is hysterical and they'll raise their hand because

959
00:26:15.701 --> 00:26:16.934
it's their last chance, their last hope.

960
00:26:16.934 --> 00:26:18.167
Yeah.

961
00:26:18.167 --> 00:26:19.400
There was one man in the same room who was

962
00:26:19.400 --> 00:26:20.634
going to commit suicide and kill his

963
00:26:20.634 --> 00:26:21.868
children because he couldn't

964
00:26:21.868 --> 00:26:23.267
leave them there alone.

965
00:26:23.267 --> 00:26:24.834
So I had to go after him.

966
00:26:24.834 --> 00:26:26.267
You go, ''God, these are the people who

967
00:26:26.267 --> 00:26:27.834
attend your seminars?''

968
00:26:27.834 --> 00:26:29.033
Well, most of people who go are on peak

969
00:26:29.033 --> 00:26:31.400
performance, total achievers. (crosstalk)

970
00:26:31.400 --> 00:26:32.601
Ok, but let me-- do you do this in front of

971
00:26:32.601 --> 00:26:33.801
everybody else?

972
00:26:33.801 --> 00:26:35.501
In other words you've got 15,000 people there and you--

973
00:26:35.501 --> 00:26:37.234
No.

974
00:26:37.234 --> 00:26:38.801
Fifteen thousand is a different type of event.

975
00:26:38.801 --> 00:26:40.234
Is this like 100 or 50, 1000?

976
00:26:40.234 --> 00:26:41.801
A thousand is the smallest thing I do.

977
00:26:41.801 --> 00:26:43.467
Oh, wait.

978
00:26:43.467 --> 00:26:45.000
Come on.

979
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:46.367
A thousand is the smallest thing you do?

980
00:26:46.367 --> 00:26:47.634
That is the most intimate environment with

981
00:26:47.634 --> 00:26:50.334
the stage, yeah. So--

982
00:26:50.334 --> 00:26:51.534
Really? Now why is that?

983
00:26:51.534 --> 00:26:52.767
Because-- Why about--

984
00:26:52.767 --> 00:26:53.968
Because there are only so many days in my

985
00:26:53.968 --> 00:26:55.200
life and I want to reach as many

986
00:26:55.200 --> 00:26:56.767
people as I can.

987
00:26:56.767 --> 00:26:58.467
And more than-- I started with 100 and thought I couldn't do

988
00:26:58.467 --> 00:26:59.968
more than 100.

989
00:26:59.968 --> 00:27:01.601
I got to 1,000 and to be able to support people at that

990
00:27:01.601 --> 00:27:03.100
individual level, it's hard to go beyond.

991
00:27:03.100 --> 00:27:04.434
I'm sure I could.

992
00:27:04.434 --> 00:27:05.701
You don't do one-on-one

993
00:27:05.701 --> 00:27:07.167
counseling for people?

994
00:27:07.167 --> 00:27:08.767
I do.

995
00:27:08.767 --> 00:27:10.200
I do coaching.

996
00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:11.767
I was with a guy today who's a financial trader.

997
00:27:11.767 --> 00:27:13.467
He made $500 million in a day and then lost

998
00:27:13.467 --> 00:27:14.968
money for many years.

999
00:27:14.968 --> 00:27:16.667
So I turned him around and he's done

1000
00:27:16.667 --> 00:27:18.334
extremely well. So--

1001
00:27:18.334 --> 00:27:20.000
You turned him around?

1002
00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:21.467
Yeah. He made money for the very

1003
00:27:21.467 --> 00:27:22.968
first time-- (crosstalk)

1004
00:27:22.968 --> 00:27:24.434
OK, what did you do for him?

1005
00:27:24.434 --> 00:27:25.934
I helped him to identify when he was at his

1006
00:27:25.934 --> 00:27:27.400
very best, how he made decisions.

1007
00:27:27.400 --> 00:27:28.901
And that was affected by two things -- his cognitive

1008
00:27:28.901 --> 00:27:30.367
processes, the way he evaluated, right?

1009
00:27:30.367 --> 00:27:31.834
And his state -- meaning we all have times in our life --

1010
00:27:31.834 --> 00:27:33.334
I'm sure even you have done this here --

1011
00:27:33.334 --> 00:27:34.801
where we say something--

1012
00:27:34.801 --> 00:27:36.467
Well, don't be so-- don't be so quick.

1013
00:27:36.467 --> 00:27:38.000
Maybe not.

1014
00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:39.634
But we've done something.

1015
00:27:39.634 --> 00:27:41.334
And after you've done it you go, ''I can't believe I said that.

1016
00:27:41.334 --> 00:27:42.901
I can't believe I did that.

1017
00:27:42.901 --> 00:27:44.534
So stupid.'' But you've also had times where you've done

1018
00:27:44.534 --> 00:27:46.300
something where you're like ''That was me?

1019
00:27:46.300 --> 00:27:48.100
I'm impressed.

1020
00:27:48.100 --> 00:27:49.701
I don't know how I did it, but I'm impressed.'' So it's not

1021
00:27:49.701 --> 00:27:51.133
ability, it's the state you're in.

1022
00:27:51.133 --> 00:27:52.267
So I helped him figure out what he was doing when he was at his

1023
00:27:52.267 --> 00:27:53.868
peak performance.

1024
00:27:53.868 --> 00:27:55.501
I did that by watching videos of him, by interviewing people

1025
00:27:55.501 --> 00:27:57.234
around him.

1026
00:27:57.234 --> 00:27:59.033
And I found out what he was doing with his body.

1027
00:27:59.033 --> 00:28:00.868
When you're in a certain state, when you're in a passionate

1028
00:28:00.868 --> 00:28:02.734
state, you move differently, you breathe differently, you talk

1029
00:28:02.734 --> 00:28:04.667
differently than when you're really feeling depressed.

1030
00:28:04.667 --> 00:28:06.601
Now is this like visualization in part?

1031
00:28:06.601 --> 00:28:08.534
No.

1032
00:28:08.534 --> 00:28:10.501
No?

1033
00:28:10.501 --> 00:28:12.467
No, it's every emotion you have you only

1034
00:28:12.467 --> 00:28:14.467
experience by your body.

1035
00:28:14.467 --> 00:28:16.200
If I said there's a depressed person behind camera number one,

1036
00:28:16.200 --> 00:28:18.000
tell me what their posture is like without looking.

1037
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:19.868
I bet you know.

1038
00:28:19.868 --> 00:28:21.501
Oh, sure.

1039
00:28:21.501 --> 00:28:23.234
OK, now how do you know that?

1040
00:28:23.234 --> 00:28:25.000
Because to create depression you have to drop your shoulders.

1041
00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:26.601
You have to drop your brow.

1042
00:28:26.601 --> 00:28:28.300
It's just that people are not

1043
00:28:28.300 --> 00:28:30.067
sort of like this.

1044
00:28:30.067 --> 00:28:31.901
That's right.

1045
00:28:31.901 --> 00:28:33.534
And if you take somebody who is depressed and you just change

1046
00:28:33.534 --> 00:28:35.234
their physiology, as overly-simplistic as that is, in

1047
00:28:35.234 --> 00:28:37.033
that instant, you will change their state completely.

1048
00:28:37.033 --> 00:28:38.367
Yeah.

1049
00:28:38.367 --> 00:28:39.734
Now, you can't just change their physiology.

1050
00:28:39.734 --> 00:28:41.067
You then have to change their beliefs.

1051
00:28:41.067 --> 00:28:42.434
That's why a lot of actors will

1052
00:28:42.434 --> 00:28:43.767
look at a walk to

1053
00:28:43.767 --> 00:28:45.434
get into the character.

1054
00:28:45.434 --> 00:28:46.934
That's correct, because they'll start

1055
00:28:46.934 --> 00:28:48.534
to actually feel it.

1056
00:28:48.534 --> 00:28:50.000
But so why not look at the walk you want, the life you want and

1057
00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:51.601
emulate that physiology?

1058
00:28:51.601 --> 00:28:53.300
But that sounds so easy.

1059
00:28:53.300 --> 00:28:55.067
I know.

1060
00:28:55.067 --> 00:28:56.901
No one wants the easy answer even when it's real.

1061
00:28:56.901 --> 00:28:58.767
OK, well, is it real?

1062
00:28:58.767 --> 00:29:00.667
It's absolutely real.

1063
00:29:00.667 --> 00:29:02.367
That you just adopt the walk that you want

1064
00:29:02.367 --> 00:29:04.100
and-- I mean, here's the interesting example about this.

1065
00:29:04.100 --> 00:29:05.667
I don't know whether it's true or not but I use it frequently.

1066
00:29:05.667 --> 00:29:07.100
The notion of George Patton.

1067
00:29:07.100 --> 00:29:08.667
George Patton visualized, assume, thought about what a

1068
00:29:08.667 --> 00:29:10.367
great general ought to be.

1069
00:29:10.367 --> 00:29:12.100
Right.

1070
00:29:12.100 --> 00:29:13.934
Now he adopted certain external manifestations

1071
00:29:13.934 --> 00:29:16.300
in terms of the clothes, in terms of the pearl-handled

1072
00:29:16.300 --> 00:29:18.567
revolver, in terms of all that stuff.

1073
00:29:18.567 --> 00:29:20.167
But he, in a sense, became what he had imagined.

1074
00:29:20.167 --> 00:29:21.734
Well, here's what I tell people--

1075
00:29:21.734 --> 00:29:22.968
Is that true or not true?

1076
00:29:22.968 --> 00:29:24.200
I believe it's totally true. If I said to

1077
00:29:24.200 --> 00:29:25.467
you, ''Charlie, close your eyes and I want you

1078
00:29:25.467 --> 00:29:26.701
to imagine an 82-year-old man.'' Now just

1079
00:29:26.701 --> 00:29:29.300
imagine that, what he's like.

1080
00:29:29.300 --> 00:29:30.601
Cary Grant.

1081
00:29:30.601 --> 00:29:31.801
OK.

1082
00:29:31.801 --> 00:29:32.934
Very nice.

1083
00:29:32.934 --> 00:29:34.300
That was good.

1084
00:29:34.300 --> 00:29:35.834
I'm impressed.

1085
00:29:35.834 --> 00:29:39.200
That was good. Touche.

1086
00:29:39.200 --> 00:29:41.000
I'll do that in a seminar and then I'll bring out a man who's

1087
00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:42.601
82 I know who bench presses 410 pounds and looks like he's 50.

1088
00:29:42.601 --> 00:29:44.033
And I say, ''Is this what you pictured?''

1089
00:29:44.033 --> 00:29:45.634
What most people picture is somebody older, hunched over.

1090
00:29:45.634 --> 00:29:47.067
Exactly.

1091
00:29:47.067 --> 00:29:48.667
Wrinkled and prunelike.

1092
00:29:48.667 --> 00:29:50.334
That is the archetype you're moving towards.

1093
00:29:50.334 --> 00:29:52.067
Yeah.

1094
00:29:52.067 --> 00:29:53.767
We all want to-- (crosstalk)

1095
00:29:53.767 --> 00:29:55.501
See-- the

1096
00:29:55.501 --> 00:29:57.200
But that's not the only thing. Physiology--

1097
00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:58.934
it's not only physiology.

1098
00:29:58.934 --> 00:30:01.133
But in the case of this man, you've got to change his

1099
00:30:01.133 --> 00:30:03.067
physiology to get his state back so his mind starts working.

1100
00:30:03.067 --> 00:30:05.000
And so that's a combination of biochemistry and movement.

1101
00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:06.968
And then you've got to take those mental

1102
00:30:06.968 --> 00:30:08.934
strategies that work.

1103
00:30:08.934 --> 00:30:10.634
And that's how I got him to make money.

1104
00:30:10.634 --> 00:30:12.167
And so-- I mean, I've been with him for six years.

1105
00:30:12.167 --> 00:30:13.601
You've been working with this

1106
00:30:13.601 --> 00:30:15.133
guy for six years?

1107
00:30:15.133 --> 00:30:17.067
It didn't take early?

1108
00:30:17.067 --> 00:30:18.734
No, it did.

1109
00:30:18.734 --> 00:30:20.400
But he pays me a million dollars a year plus a percentage of his

1110
00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:22.067
increase because-- Last year I said to him, ''Look-- ''

1111
00:30:22.067 --> 00:30:23.400
Wait a minute. He pays you a million dollars a

1112
00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:24.734
year plus a percentage--

1113
00:30:24.734 --> 00:30:26.067
That's what I get, of his increase.

1114
00:30:26.067 --> 00:30:27.400
Of his increase. So if he went-- I mean, is this

1115
00:30:27.400 --> 00:30:28.734
10 percent?

1116
00:30:28.734 --> 00:30:30.501
Twenty percent?

1117
00:30:30.501 --> 00:30:32.067
What is this?

1118
00:30:32.067 --> 00:30:33.767
No, but it's sizable.

1119
00:30:33.767 --> 00:30:35.133
It's not a sizable percentage, but it's a

1120
00:30:35.133 --> 00:30:36.534
sizable amount of money.

1121
00:30:36.534 --> 00:30:37.901
How many of these clients do you have?

1122
00:30:37.901 --> 00:30:39.300
I've had seven and I've

1123
00:30:39.300 --> 00:30:40.701
pared them down because

1124
00:30:40.701 --> 00:30:42.234
I couldn't honestly service seven.

1125
00:30:42.234 --> 00:30:43.601
Is that right?

1126
00:30:43.601 --> 00:30:45.167
I'm not making fun of them, I'm just saying this is amazing

1127
00:30:45.167 --> 00:30:46.567
that-- because here's my point.

1128
00:30:46.567 --> 00:30:47.868
Yeah.

1129
00:30:47.868 --> 00:30:49.100
It's got to be worth it to him or he wouldn't

1130
00:30:49.100 --> 00:30:50.300
pay you.

1131
00:30:50.300 --> 00:30:51.400
Well, last year I told him, I said,

1132
00:30:51.400 --> 00:30:52.501
''Look-- '' Now we're like best friends.

1133
00:30:52.501 --> 00:30:53.601
I said, a, I'd do this for free.

1134
00:30:53.601 --> 00:30:54.634
B, the amount of time I spend, it costs me this, it's worth

1135
00:30:54.634 --> 00:30:55.701
this to me at this stage of my life.

1136
00:30:55.701 --> 00:30:56.734
Why don't you just do it yourself because I know what

1137
00:30:56.734 --> 00:30:57.734
you're going to do and when you're going to do it because he

1138
00:30:57.734 --> 00:30:58.767
journals every day.

1139
00:30:58.767 --> 00:31:00.033
But I could do other things

1140
00:31:00.033 --> 00:31:01.234
and make that money.

1141
00:31:01.234 --> 00:31:02.367
Not only that, but--

1142
00:31:02.367 --> 00:31:03.467
I don't mean it that way, but--

1143
00:31:03.467 --> 00:31:04.534
But he said--

1144
00:31:04.534 --> 00:31:05.634
My time is valuable to me too.

1145
00:31:05.634 --> 00:31:06.734
Yeah, but it's not that because I enjoy being

1146
00:31:06.734 --> 00:31:07.801
with him. I just don't want to be a taker.

1147
00:31:07.801 --> 00:31:09.701
And so you said what and he said what?

1148
00:31:09.701 --> 00:31:11.601
He says to me, ''Are you insane?

1149
00:31:11.601 --> 00:31:13.534
Just knowing you're going to call.'' He said, ''You're my

1150
00:31:13.534 --> 00:31:15.234
insurance policy.'' He said, ''I know I've got to do it.'' He

1151
00:31:15.234 --> 00:31:16.734
said, ''It's just-- an insurance policy.

1152
00:31:16.734 --> 00:31:18.400
It's a measurement.''

1153
00:31:18.400 --> 00:31:20.133
This is a weak human being.

1154
00:31:20.133 --> 00:31:21.934
Oh.

1155
00:31:21.934 --> 00:31:23.767
It doesn't mean I'm going to say that.

1156
00:31:23.767 --> 00:31:25.434
Well, it's true though.

1157
00:31:25.434 --> 00:31:27.133
Not even slightly.

1158
00:31:27.133 --> 00:31:28.934
He needs your call?

1159
00:31:28.934 --> 00:31:30.267
No.

1160
00:31:30.267 --> 00:31:31.601
He needs to maximize his potential as

1161
00:31:31.601 --> 00:31:32.934
something to measure--

1162
00:31:32.934 --> 00:31:34.267
But why can't at some point we put this guy out

1163
00:31:34.267 --> 00:31:35.601
on his own?

1164
00:31:35.601 --> 00:31:37.267
We absolutely can.

1165
00:31:37.267 --> 00:31:39.033
But he performs at a level most people never dream of.

1166
00:31:39.033 --> 00:31:40.434
So let me ask you a question.

1167
00:31:40.434 --> 00:31:41.868
If I'm going to go out there and I'm going to be the best hitter

1168
00:31:41.868 --> 00:31:43.267
in the world--

1169
00:31:43.267 --> 00:31:44.701
Oh, come on. Michael Jordan does not need you

1170
00:31:44.701 --> 00:31:46.100
every time he goes out.

1171
00:31:46.100 --> 00:31:47.601
This person doesn't need me either every

1172
00:31:47.601 --> 00:31:49.100
time he goes out.

1173
00:31:49.100 --> 00:31:50.601
I'm not there--

1174
00:31:50.601 --> 00:31:52.067
But you're just saying-- He just said to you,

1175
00:31:52.067 --> 00:31:53.567
''I wait for the phone call.''

1176
00:31:53.567 --> 00:31:55.267
No, he didn't say wait for the phone call.

1177
00:31:55.267 --> 00:31:57.033
Knowing I'm going to call makes

1178
00:31:57.033 --> 00:31:58.601
him maximize. (crosstalk)

1179
00:31:58.601 --> 00:32:00.033
Because he wants to please you?

1180
00:32:00.033 --> 00:32:01.601
No.

1181
00:32:01.601 --> 00:32:03.300
Because he wants to please you? Because he what?

1182
00:32:03.300 --> 00:32:05.067
No.

1183
00:32:05.067 --> 00:32:06.634
Why did Michael Jordan have a coach?

1184
00:32:06.634 --> 00:32:08.300
Why did Michael Jordan say one of the reasons he was--

1185
00:32:08.300 --> 00:32:10.067
Well, the coach didn't tell him how to shoot and

1186
00:32:10.067 --> 00:32:11.634
didn't tell him how to play.

1187
00:32:11.634 --> 00:32:13.300
No, the coach told him absolutely what he

1188
00:32:13.300 --> 00:32:14.634
needed to do in situations where he saw little things that were

1189
00:32:14.634 --> 00:32:16.000
off target.

1190
00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:17.334
And Michael Jordan has a coach--

1191
00:32:17.334 --> 00:32:18.701
Yeah. A better example is this profile of Harmon

1192
00:32:18.701 --> 00:32:20.033
in today's paper who

1193
00:32:20.033 --> 00:32:21.167
is Tiger Wood's coach.

1194
00:32:21.167 --> 00:32:22.267
And he's over there and, you know.

1195
00:32:22.267 --> 00:32:23.367
I mean, I understand that process.

1196
00:32:23.367 --> 00:32:24.501
So what you're doing is

1197
00:32:24.501 --> 00:32:25.601
making it a dependency

1198
00:32:25.601 --> 00:32:26.801
rather than coaching.

1199
00:32:26.801 --> 00:32:27.934
But what I say to him is -- here's the real truth also --

1200
00:32:27.934 --> 00:32:29.033
everybody needs a coach.

1201
00:32:29.033 --> 00:32:30.100
I have people who coach me.

1202
00:32:30.100 --> 00:32:31.167
I do too.

1203
00:32:31.167 --> 00:32:32.200
Man, I need them.

1204
00:32:32.200 --> 00:32:33.234
I mean, I wish I had them.

1205
00:32:33.234 --> 00:32:34.267
Are you a weak son of a gun?

1206
00:32:34.267 --> 00:32:35.267
What's the matter with you?

1207
00:32:35.267 --> 00:32:36.300
Exact-- well, no.

1208
00:32:36.300 --> 00:32:37.300
It's true.

1209
00:32:37.300 --> 00:32:38.300
I don't know where to go, damn it.

1210
00:32:38.300 --> 00:32:39.567
I don't know where to go.

1211
00:32:39.567 --> 00:32:40.467
I'm calling you tomorrow because I could be thinking about how

1212
00:32:40.467 --> 00:32:41.367
much better I could be.

1213
00:32:41.367 --> 00:32:42.267
No, but what it is--

1214
00:32:42.267 --> 00:32:43.167
In terms of maximizing my performance,

1215
00:32:43.167 --> 00:32:44.067
understanding my inner self--

1216
00:32:44.067 --> 00:32:45.133
No, not even that.

1217
00:32:45.133 --> 00:32:46.200
In his performance, you know, the .

1218
00:32:46.200 --> 00:32:47.234
250 hitter versus the .

1219
00:32:47.234 --> 00:32:48.234
333 hitter -- the .

1220
00:32:48.234 --> 00:32:49.267
250 hitter-- the .

1221
00:32:49.267 --> 00:32:50.267
333 hitter gets one more hit every 12 at-bats.

1222
00:32:50.267 --> 00:32:51.300
The .

1223
00:32:51.300 --> 00:32:52.300
250 hitter makes a half million dollars a year -- a lot of

1224
00:32:52.300 --> 00:32:53.300
money, but not in baseball; the .

1225
00:32:53.300 --> 00:32:54.334
333 makes $7 million.

1226
00:32:54.334 --> 00:32:55.901
Now here's the question.

1227
00:32:55.901 --> 00:32:57.667
One more hit makes a difference.

1228
00:32:57.667 --> 00:32:59.434


1229
00:32:59.434 --> 00:33:01.200
Yeah.

1230
00:33:01.200 --> 00:33:02.968
Is it that you can take people who have the

1231
00:33:02.968 --> 00:33:04.767
natural potential and who are because of all kinds things

1232
00:33:04.767 --> 00:33:07.067
they're not realizing their natural potential?

1233
00:33:07.067 --> 00:33:09.801
And they've got all kinds of barriers that have gotten in the

1234
00:33:09.801 --> 00:33:12.334
way, all kinds of atrophy and everything else.

1235
00:33:12.334 --> 00:33:13.868
And you can strip that away and give them-- or transfer to them

1236
00:33:13.868 --> 00:33:15.400
or whatever the term-- uncovered-- (crosstalk)

1237
00:33:15.400 --> 00:33:16.901
You've--

1238
00:33:16.901 --> 00:33:18.434
OK, that's my point. But they've got to already

1239
00:33:18.434 --> 00:33:19.934
have it. You can't take somebody who is born-- who

1240
00:33:19.934 --> 00:33:21.467
will never be better

1241
00:33:21.467 --> 00:33:23.601
than a .

1242
00:33:23.601 --> 00:33:25.701
250 hitter because that's the max of his athletic ability and

1243
00:33:25.701 --> 00:33:27.767
make him into a .

1244
00:33:27.767 --> 00:33:29.400
320 hitter, can you?

1245
00:33:29.400 --> 00:33:32.667
No. So--

1246
00:33:32.667 --> 00:33:34.300
You're only taking people who have not maxed out

1247
00:33:34.300 --> 00:33:35.934
of their potential by a wide margin.

1248
00:33:35.934 --> 00:33:37.934
Who do you think that is?

1249
00:33:37.934 --> 00:33:39.701
Ninety-nine percent of the world.

1250
00:33:39.701 --> 00:33:41.534
Thank you.

1251
00:33:41.534 --> 00:33:43.167
So, but here's the truth.

1252
00:33:43.167 --> 00:33:44.634
All right.

1253
00:33:44.634 --> 00:33:45.901
Most of us have undersold ourselves on a

1254
00:33:45.901 --> 00:33:47.200
very deep level.

1255
00:33:47.200 --> 00:33:48.501
Yeah.

1256
00:33:48.501 --> 00:33:49.767
Whether it be how much

1257
00:33:49.767 --> 00:33:51.067
passion we really could

1258
00:33:51.067 --> 00:33:52.300
have in our life or whether it be how vitally

1259
00:33:52.300 --> 00:33:53.534
healthy we could be--

1260
00:33:53.534 --> 00:33:54.734
I agree.

1261
00:33:54.734 --> 00:33:55.968
And so what's happening is everyone has that,

1262
00:33:55.968 --> 00:33:57.200
including me.

1263
00:33:57.200 --> 00:33:58.667
So I look for those-- I believe who you are is who you spend

1264
00:33:58.667 --> 00:34:00.000
time with.

1265
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:01.501
That the quality--

1266
00:34:01.501 --> 00:34:03.100
Who you are and who you spend time with?

1267
00:34:03.100 --> 00:34:04.601
Yeah.

1268
00:34:04.601 --> 00:34:06.200
Who you spend time with is who you become.

1269
00:34:06.200 --> 00:34:07.634
Because whoever you spend time with affects your beliefs and

1270
00:34:07.634 --> 00:34:09.234
your values.

1271
00:34:09.234 --> 00:34:10.934
And your need for their love, their attention, their

1272
00:34:10.934 --> 00:34:12.434
significance will affect.

1273
00:34:12.434 --> 00:34:13.834
If I'm going to play tennis and I play someone worse than I am

1274
00:34:13.834 --> 00:34:15.367
on a regular basis, I am not going to get better.

1275
00:34:15.367 --> 00:34:17.033
Right.

1276
00:34:17.033 --> 00:34:18.767
So you play Agassi.

1277
00:34:18.767 --> 00:34:20.334
Yeah, you do that.

1278
00:34:20.334 --> 00:34:22.000
Even if you play terrible, your skill sets are going to grow

1279
00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:23.701
significantly because of your desire to connect and to play at

1280
00:34:23.701 --> 00:34:25.834
that level.

1281
00:34:25.834 --> 00:34:27.868
So I think-- I personally believe mentoring is the biggest

1282
00:34:27.868 --> 00:34:29.767
thing missing from our society.

1283
00:34:29.767 --> 00:34:31.667
A huge part of what I do in terms of my foundation's work is

1284
00:34:31.667 --> 00:34:33.601
mentoring for kids because, you know, people say, ''Well, we

1285
00:34:33.601 --> 00:34:35.567
should do something about the values of the family.'' Well,

1286
00:34:35.567 --> 00:34:37.534
that's a nice discussion but the thing you can do is a

1287
00:34:37.534 --> 00:34:39.501
relationship with a child where you just care about them.

1288
00:34:39.501 --> 00:34:41.467
You don't have to be the most skilled person.

1289
00:34:41.467 --> 00:34:43.467
You don't have to be perfect.

1290
00:34:43.467 --> 00:34:45.467
All you've got to do is just care and be honest and it

1291
00:34:45.467 --> 00:34:47.434
transforms a child's life.

1292
00:34:47.434 --> 00:34:49.434
And most children today have more choices than any time in

1293
00:34:49.434 --> 00:34:51.434
human history and the least amount of guidance

1294
00:34:51.434 --> 00:34:53.434
that has ever existed.

1295
00:34:53.434 --> 00:34:55.434
And that's why we have a crisis where we have kids picking up

1296
00:34:55.434 --> 00:34:57.667
guns and shooting people.

1297
00:34:57.667 --> 00:34:59.868
OK, so give me the Robbins solution.

1298
00:34:59.868 --> 00:35:02.000
I agree with you 100 percent.

1299
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:04.100
So tell me what it is that America should be doing for its

1300
00:35:04.100 --> 00:35:06.167
children and, if it's mentoring, how do you go about it?

1301
00:35:06.167 --> 00:35:08.234
Well--

1302
00:35:08.234 --> 00:35:10.267
What's the mechanism? What's the process?

1303
00:35:10.267 --> 00:35:12.300
There's lots of them.

1304
00:35:12.300 --> 00:35:14.334
I mean, you can just-- as an individual you can go out and

1305
00:35:14.334 --> 00:35:16.367
have a lunch buddy.

1306
00:35:16.367 --> 00:35:18.367
You can take somebody and say for the next six months I'm

1307
00:35:18.367 --> 00:35:20.400
going to take this child out twice a month for lunch and just

1308
00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:22.400
talk and maybe do a field trip, have fun with them.

1309
00:35:22.400 --> 00:35:24.167
My solutions-- I like to look at systems.

1310
00:35:24.167 --> 00:35:25.968
I look at it and say mentoring will never pervade the culture

1311
00:35:25.968 --> 00:35:27.834
unless it's team mentoring, because you

1312
00:35:27.834 --> 00:35:29.734
can't get enough mentors.

1313
00:35:29.734 --> 00:35:31.400
There are lots of kids that want them and they can't them.

1314
00:35:31.400 --> 00:35:33.167
So team mentoring will take it to scale.

1315
00:35:33.167 --> 00:35:34.968
On the model-- I look for models.

1316
00:35:34.968 --> 00:35:36.567
There's a model in L.A.

1317
00:35:36.567 --> 00:35:38.300
that worked during the riots that uses a schoolteacher.

1318
00:35:38.300 --> 00:35:39.801
So it's already a location that exists, somebody

1319
00:35:39.801 --> 00:35:41.467
that knows the kids.

1320
00:35:41.467 --> 00:35:42.934
It uses college students; somebody young

1321
00:35:42.934 --> 00:35:44.567
enough to relate to.

1322
00:35:44.567 --> 00:35:46.033
And it uses a businessman, but then they have a group six or 10

1323
00:35:46.033 --> 00:35:47.634
or 12 or 15 kids.

1324
00:35:47.634 --> 00:35:49.334
And so each mentor is coaching three or four.

1325
00:35:49.334 --> 00:35:50.834
That helps the mentor succeed.

1326
00:35:50.834 --> 00:35:52.501
Sometimes a kid doesn't respond.

1327
00:35:52.501 --> 00:35:54.234
If you've got three or four, you've got a chance one's going

1328
00:35:54.234 --> 00:35:55.767
to respond.

1329
00:35:55.767 --> 00:35:57.434
So the mentor stays reinforced in the game.

1330
00:35:57.434 --> 00:35:59.167
There are other people with them mentoring so

1331
00:35:59.167 --> 00:36:01.000
they're not alone.

1332
00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:02.400
There's not the feeling of loneliness.

1333
00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:03.801
So it meets some of the needs we're talking about --

1334
00:36:03.801 --> 00:36:05.200
connection and certainty and forth.

1335
00:36:05.200 --> 00:36:06.634
And my view of it is to create a syllabus,

1336
00:36:06.634 --> 00:36:08.033
which we are currently

1337
00:36:08.033 --> 00:36:09.868
working on.

1338
00:36:09.868 --> 00:36:11.767
And when you get to 10 percent of a school's population -- and

1339
00:36:11.767 --> 00:36:13.667
I've got a breakdown as our foundation is doing this for the

1340
00:36:13.667 --> 00:36:15.601
whole United States -- and you look at the junior high school

1341
00:36:15.601 --> 00:36:17.567
student, which I believe is the-- every time is a critical

1342
00:36:17.567 --> 00:36:19.534
time, but probably the most critical time when kids are

1343
00:36:19.534 --> 00:36:21.501
going from peer group at home, usually, to a new peer group;

1344
00:36:21.501 --> 00:36:23.467
when they're going through the first change of the hormones.

1345
00:36:23.467 --> 00:36:25.467
That's the place that if you can intercede, I believe you

1346
00:36:25.467 --> 00:36:27.467
have the largest amount of leverage.

1347
00:36:27.467 --> 00:36:29.434
And so if you can teach these kids to become young leaders,

1348
00:36:29.434 --> 00:36:31.434
that is, by having Michael Jordan on video share all the

1349
00:36:31.434 --> 00:36:33.434
story of his life, and they start finding out Michael did

1350
00:36:33.434 --> 00:36:35.434
not make the varsity basketball team--

1351
00:36:35.434 --> 00:36:37.434
When he was (unintelligible)--

1352
00:36:37.434 --> 00:36:39.434
--his sophomore year--

1353
00:36:39.434 --> 00:36:41.033
--his sophomore year, right.

1354
00:36:41.033 --> 00:36:42.634
Right, and he starts telling the story--

1355
00:36:42.634 --> 00:36:44.234
I've lived by that for a long time.

1356
00:36:44.234 --> 00:36:45.834
--(unintelligible) -- and he see -- and they

1357
00:36:45.834 --> 00:36:47.400
see that, and then there's a syllabus to what they

1358
00:36:47.400 --> 00:36:49.400
do that's fun, and they have somebody who's interested in

1359
00:36:49.400 --> 00:36:51.667
them, and they have other students -- when you get 10

1360
00:36:51.667 --> 00:36:53.968
percent of the population, say a school of a 1,000 kids, and you

1361
00:36:53.968 --> 00:36:56.234
have 100 kids doing this, 10 groups of 10, you begin to

1362
00:36:56.234 --> 00:36:58.234
affect the critical mass of the mindset.

1363
00:36:58.234 --> 00:37:00.501
Because when the mentor leaves, these kids know each other.

1364
00:37:00.501 --> 00:37:02.968
And they start setting new standards for how they're going

1365
00:37:02.968 --> 00:37:05.534
to live their life, and they're reinforced for it.

1366
00:37:05.534 --> 00:37:08.234
So my -- you know, I set out when I -- when I was very young,

1367
00:37:08.234 --> 00:37:11.000
my family was very poor.

1368
00:37:11.000 --> 00:37:13.834
We had a Thanksgiving, no money, no food.

1369
00:37:13.834 --> 00:37:16.434
We were going to starve, we weren't going to have a feast,

1370
00:37:16.434 --> 00:37:18.901
we weren't going to have any food.

1371
00:37:18.901 --> 00:37:21.267
Somebody fed my family.

1372
00:37:21.267 --> 00:37:23.534
I answered the door.

1373
00:37:23.534 --> 00:37:25.968
It triggered me.

1374
00:37:25.968 --> 00:37:28.300
Last year, my foundation, we worked with people, we've got a

1375
00:37:28.300 --> 00:37:30.534
million people last year.

1376
00:37:30.534 --> 00:37:32.734
Start with me feeling -- feeding three families.

1377
00:37:32.734 --> 00:37:34.868
So I believe that little ideas can be grown into institutions,

1378
00:37:34.868 --> 00:37:36.968
and my life is a reflection of that.

1379
00:37:36.968 --> 00:37:38.601
I built, you know, a portion of an industry that didn't exist in

1380
00:37:38.601 --> 00:37:40.267
the way that I do it.

1381
00:37:40.267 --> 00:37:41.901
So I believe that in mentoring, this can be done.

1382
00:37:41.901 --> 00:37:43.534
So I have right now 100 partners that are

1383
00:37:43.534 --> 00:37:45.200
all putting up together

1384
00:37:45.200 --> 00:37:47.200
a million dollars to fund the syllabus of this, and we're

1385
00:37:47.200 --> 00:37:49.234
working with teachers, and we're already in about 1,200 school

1386
00:37:49.234 --> 00:37:51.234
systems with different programs to get a uniform syllabus that

1387
00:37:51.234 --> 00:37:52.868
can create this leadership program.

1388
00:37:52.868 --> 00:37:54.467
That's not the whole answer, but it's one.

1389
00:37:54.467 --> 00:37:56.067
But we need mentors, and people that come to my seminars and so

1390
00:37:56.067 --> 00:37:57.667
forth, the same people that feed people, are

1391
00:37:57.667 --> 00:37:59.300
the kinds of people,

1392
00:37:59.300 --> 00:38:01.300
I think, that can be great mentors.

1393
00:38:01.300 --> 00:38:03.534
But anyone can do it.

1394
00:38:03.534 --> 00:38:05.734
That's one approach.

1395
00:38:05.734 --> 00:38:07.868
There are so many that are going on, and thanks to -- like

1396
00:38:07.868 --> 00:38:09.968
America's Promise, I was a part of helping to create that with

1397
00:38:09.968 --> 00:38:12.033
Colin Powell.

1398
00:38:12.033 --> 00:38:14.100
Colin Powell, right.

1399
00:38:14.100 --> 00:38:16.133
And it has stimulated that massively.

1400
00:38:16.133 --> 00:38:18.167
And, you know, I think we're making huge progress.

1401
00:38:18.167 --> 00:38:20.200
We've got a couple million mentors that we didn't have a

1402
00:38:20.200 --> 00:38:22.234
few years ago.

1403
00:38:22.234 --> 00:38:24.234
What did you do for Nelson Mandela?

1404
00:38:24.234 --> 00:38:26.267
I didn't do anything for Nelson Mandela.

1405
00:38:26.267 --> 00:38:28.267
I had a conversation with Nelson Mandela, and I think I got more

1406
00:38:28.267 --> 00:38:30.267
out of Nelson Mandela than he did me.

1407
00:38:30.267 --> 00:38:32.267
Someone else put me with Nelson Mandela to see if I couldn't

1408
00:38:32.267 --> 00:38:34.300
assist him in the evaluation of how he was going to integrate

1409
00:38:34.300 --> 00:38:36.300
some members of his council.

1410
00:38:36.300 --> 00:38:38.300
And truthfully, I left with a lot more.

1411
00:38:38.300 --> 00:38:40.300
Gorbachev was somebody that I helped deal with the transition

1412
00:38:40.300 --> 00:38:42.534
afterwards, what -- how to deal with the situation that he went

1413
00:38:42.534 --> 00:38:44.734
through when he was ousted.

1414
00:38:44.734 --> 00:38:46.868
Because all of a sudden, he was the devil in his own country,

1415
00:38:46.868 --> 00:38:48.968
the very people who loved him.

1416
00:38:48.968 --> 00:38:51.033
But with Nelson Mandela, I don't really feel like I really

1417
00:38:51.033 --> 00:38:53.100
did anything.

1418
00:38:53.100 --> 00:38:54.734
I learned from Nelson Mandela.

1419
00:38:54.734 --> 00:38:56.367
I have experience of Nelson Mandela, probably you did.

1420
00:38:56.367 --> 00:38:57.968
Yes, what did you learn?

1421
00:38:57.968 --> 00:38:59.601
I learned what a human being is

1422
00:38:59.601 --> 00:39:01.234
capable of, was

1423
00:39:01.234 --> 00:39:03.334
greater than I even thought, you know, to have someone take a

1424
00:39:03.334 --> 00:39:05.434
quarter of a century of your life and not come out with pure

1425
00:39:05.434 --> 00:39:07.467
hatred and be able to say -- to win -- we were talking before we

1426
00:39:07.467 --> 00:39:09.367
were on the air, to win over your guards as your friends, to

1427
00:39:09.367 --> 00:39:11.167
honor them as you, you know, great -- you know, as the

1428
00:39:11.167 --> 00:39:12.968
president of the country, to say, I don't care what you did

1429
00:39:12.968 --> 00:39:14.767
to me, let's (unintelligible)--

1430
00:39:14.767 --> 00:39:16.601
And by personal contact to the man they respect,

1431
00:39:16.601 --> 00:39:18.400
in which they gave it.

1432
00:39:18.400 --> 00:39:20.801
But here's the interesting thing about him.

1433
00:39:20.801 --> 00:39:23.100
For the first half of his time, he was in --

1434
00:39:23.100 --> 00:39:25.334
he was angry, rebellious.

1435
00:39:25.334 --> 00:39:27.501
And finally, I think--

1436
00:39:27.501 --> 00:39:29.634
He shifted to preparing.

1437
00:39:29.634 --> 00:39:31.701
Shifted to something else, yes.

1438
00:39:31.701 --> 00:39:33.801
(crosstalk) a sense -- or you say, preparation to you, and he

1439
00:39:33.801 --> 00:39:35.834
said to me to me, you know, he just said, ''At some point, I

1440
00:39:35.834 --> 00:39:37.901
realized that it was not productive.''

1441
00:39:37.901 --> 00:39:39.901
Well, you know what?

1442
00:39:39.901 --> 00:39:41.934
That's true of all human beings.

1443
00:39:41.934 --> 00:39:43.968
I don't care what a human being does.

1444
00:39:43.968 --> 00:39:45.968
If they have enough time, they'll satiate that emotion.

1445
00:39:45.968 --> 00:39:48.000
If the emotion is anger, they'll get to the point where they're

1446
00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:50.000
tired of being angry, and then they'll get sad.

1447
00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:52.000
If they're sad all the time, they'll finally get pissed off

1448
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:54.000
just to get out of that state.

1449
00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:56.000
Human beings, left alone, will eventually gravitate to

1450
00:39:56.000 --> 00:39:58.000
something else, unless they get reinforced, like by being angry,

1451
00:39:58.000 --> 00:40:00.267
I respond to all the time, then you learn to get angry, because

1452
00:40:00.267 --> 00:40:02.434
I always react to you.

1453
00:40:02.434 --> 00:40:04.601
Or being sad all the time, I give you love, and pretty soon

1454
00:40:04.601 --> 00:40:06.701
you get sad and don't even know why, because you want love.

1455
00:40:06.701 --> 00:40:08.767
But he is an amazing man.

1456
00:40:08.767 --> 00:40:10.834
He's more than the product of satiation.

1457
00:40:10.834 --> 00:40:12.868
He is a man who made conscious choices to rise above hatred and

1458
00:40:12.868 --> 00:40:14.901
anger and to really serve.

1459
00:40:14.901 --> 00:40:16.934
And I think there are very few people that have lived their

1460
00:40:16.934 --> 00:40:18.968
life the way he's lived his life, and I think that's why

1461
00:40:18.968 --> 00:40:20.968
he's (unintelligible).

1462
00:40:20.968 --> 00:40:22.968
Yes, (unintelligible), some of that

1463
00:40:22.968 --> 00:40:25.000
comes from just wisdom, and the capacity

1464
00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:27.000
to learn from experience.

1465
00:40:27.000 --> 00:40:29.000
True.

1466
00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:31.000
And it comes from his childhood, because (unintelligible) his

1467
00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:33.000
childhood, he was unique even then in the way he was treated,

1468
00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:35.000
in the way he was raised.

1469
00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:37.033
He was raised to be a leader to some extent.

1470
00:40:37.033 --> 00:40:39.033
You have some interesting opinions on genes

1471
00:40:39.033 --> 00:40:41.267
versus environment, nature-nurture?

1472
00:40:41.267 --> 00:40:43.434
I think they both play a role.

1473
00:40:43.434 --> 00:40:45.601
I think to say either one is alone is absurd.

1474
00:40:45.601 --> 00:40:47.701
You know, when you're -- when people try to say everything is

1475
00:40:47.701 --> 00:40:51.834
genetics, it's a joke. What--

1476
00:40:51.834 --> 00:40:53.868
Say, genes are destiny, you say, forget it, no.

1477
00:40:53.868 --> 00:40:55.901
But, you know, I'm six-foot-seven, I was

1478
00:40:55.901 --> 00:40:57.934
five-one in high school, you know--

1479
00:40:57.934 --> 00:40:59.968
(unintelligible) in high school?

1480
00:40:59.968 --> 00:41:01.968
Sophomore.

1481
00:41:01.968 --> 00:41:03.968
I grew 10 inches in a year.

1482
00:41:03.968 --> 00:41:06.000
But I had a brain tumor which I never even knew about, a

1483
00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:08.000
pituitary tumor, which stimulated this growth in me, 10

1484
00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:10.000
inches in a year.

1485
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:12.000
I mean, I really -- I know what growing pains are

1486
00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:14.000
as something physical.

1487
00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:16.000
And my brother is still, like, five-four, I believe, so--

1488
00:41:16.000 --> 00:41:18.033
So you grew because you had a pituitary--

1489
00:41:18.033 --> 00:41:20.267
I had a tumor which I didn't know until--

1490
00:41:20.267 --> 00:41:22.434
And what did it do to you?

1491
00:41:22.434 --> 00:41:24.601
--10 years ago.

1492
00:41:24.601 --> 00:41:26.701
It stimulated -- my pituitary gland stimulated massive growth

1493
00:41:26.701 --> 00:41:28.634
hormone release through my body, and I exploded in size.

1494
00:41:28.634 --> 00:41:30.767
And I -- but I didn't -- you know, I didn't know anything

1495
00:41:30.767 --> 00:41:32.801
about it, and -- because I'm a pilot, you know, I -- every two

1496
00:41:32.801 --> 00:41:34.734
years you go get a physical.

1497
00:41:34.734 --> 00:41:36.667
And this time a doctor looked at me and said, ''You're kind of

1498
00:41:36.667 --> 00:41:38.601
like Schwarzenegger,'' he said, ''your cheekbones, everything

1499
00:41:38.601 --> 00:41:40.567
else.'' And I didn't know what he was talking about.

1500
00:41:40.567 --> 00:41:42.534
So he thought I had this challenge.

1501
00:41:42.534 --> 00:41:44.534
And so without telling me, he took a blood test, and he said,

1502
00:41:44.534 --> 00:41:46.501
''I want to do an operation on you.'' He said, you know, I --

1503
00:41:46.501 --> 00:41:48.501
''You have this massive excess growth hormone, and you have a

1504
00:41:48.501 --> 00:41:50.501
pituitary tumor.'' I said, ''Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1505
00:41:50.501 --> 00:41:52.234
I came in, there was nothing wrong with me.

1506
00:41:52.234 --> 00:41:54.033
Now you want to do an operation.

1507
00:41:54.033 --> 00:41:55.901
Wait.'' So fortunately, I'm fairly strong willed, and I went

1508
00:41:55.901 --> 00:41:57.767
to about nine people.

1509
00:41:57.767 --> 00:41:59.701
I don't think I'm exaggerating, probably six different doctors.

1510
00:41:59.701 --> 00:42:01.634
And it turned out I did have a pituitary tumor at one time, but

1511
00:42:01.634 --> 00:42:03.334
it infarcated, it swallowed itself up.

1512
00:42:03.334 --> 00:42:05.100
There's enough of it there that I have about, you know, $300 or

1513
00:42:05.100 --> 00:42:06.701
$400 a day with the extra growth hormone, if I have to buy it on

1514
00:42:06.701 --> 00:42:08.400
the street as a body builder.

1515
00:42:08.400 --> 00:42:09.901
But you did then, or you do now?

1516
00:42:09.901 --> 00:42:11.534
I do now.

1517
00:42:11.534 --> 00:42:13.033
But I don't have--

1518
00:42:13.033 --> 00:42:14.634
So what do you do with it.

1519
00:42:14.634 --> 00:42:16.100
I don't grow, I don't grow--

1520
00:42:16.100 --> 00:42:17.667
Well, but where does it go?

1521
00:42:17.667 --> 00:42:19.133
I -- it makes me young and strong.

1522
00:42:19.133 --> 00:42:20.701
I'm serious.

1523
00:42:20.701 --> 00:42:22.400
I'm interested in your--

1524
00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:24.167
I'm virile, for God's sakes.

1525
00:42:24.167 --> 00:42:25.734
You're a (unintelligible) now.

1526
00:42:25.734 --> 00:42:27.901
Can't you see that?

1527
00:42:27.901 --> 00:42:29.801
(unintelligible), I mean--

1528
00:42:29.801 --> 00:42:31.267
(unintelligible).

1529
00:42:31.267 --> 00:42:32.734
But here's the (unintelligible)--

1530
00:42:32.734 --> 00:42:34.200
--we could use that growth hormone.

1531
00:42:34.200 --> 00:42:35.667
That's right. I have some friends who wanted

1532
00:42:35.667 --> 00:42:37.133
to borrow some of it, you know,

1533
00:42:37.133 --> 00:42:38.968
give them a blood test (unintelligible).

1534
00:42:38.968 --> 00:42:40.834
I know, exactly.

1535
00:42:40.834 --> 00:42:42.501
But where does that come from?

1536
00:42:42.501 --> 00:42:44.234
No, OK, but is there any danger to this?

1537
00:42:44.234 --> 00:42:45.734
Well, here's -- it's interesting.

1538
00:42:45.734 --> 00:42:47.234
You know?

1539
00:42:47.234 --> 00:42:48.701
I mean--

1540
00:42:48.701 --> 00:42:50.200
Here's a great example. The first doctor who

1541
00:42:50.200 --> 00:42:51.701
wanted the surgery on me, just to be safe,

1542
00:42:51.701 --> 00:42:53.634
my heart valves aren't any bigger, there's nothing changed,

1543
00:42:53.634 --> 00:42:55.601
everything's fine, just to be safe.

1544
00:42:55.601 --> 00:42:57.567
It didn't screw up any of your organs.

1545
00:42:57.567 --> 00:42:59.300
No, (unintelligible).

1546
00:42:59.300 --> 00:43:01.100
I went -- I can't remember his name, but I came here to Boston

1547
00:43:01.100 --> 00:43:02.934
to the, you know, the father of endocrinology, can't believe I

1548
00:43:02.934 --> 00:43:04.801
can't think of his name.

1549
00:43:04.801 --> 00:43:06.701
But I was his -- the last day of his career, I was one of his

1550
00:43:06.701 --> 00:43:08.634
last patients, not the last patient, one of the last ones.

1551
00:43:08.634 --> 00:43:10.601
He saw me because he was a fan of my work.

1552
00:43:10.601 --> 00:43:12.567
And he said, ''Tony, everything's great.'' I said,

1553
00:43:12.567 --> 00:43:14.534
''Let me -- I got to talk to you.

1554
00:43:14.534 --> 00:43:16.501
Because (unintelligible) these doctors, they want to either

1555
00:43:16.501 --> 00:43:18.267
drug me or they want to cut me, and I--'' He said, ''Well, I

1556
00:43:18.267 --> 00:43:19.801
think maybe you're afraid that if we cut that out, that you're

1557
00:43:19.801 --> 00:43:20.968
like Superman, and -- or (unintelligible)

1558
00:43:20.968 --> 00:43:22.133
Kryptonite, or--''

1559
00:43:22.133 --> 00:43:23.300
Ahh, right.

1560
00:43:23.300 --> 00:43:24.467
''--maybe it's like your hair for Hercules,''

1561
00:43:24.467 --> 00:43:25.601
and he kind of teased me a little bit.

1562
00:43:25.601 --> 00:43:27.667
I said, ''You know what?''

1563
00:43:27.667 --> 00:43:29.467
He said, ''The only side effect of taking the drug would

1564
00:43:29.467 --> 00:43:31.334
be you'd have lowered energy.'' And I said, ''You're damn right

1565
00:43:31.334 --> 00:43:33.200
that would make me unhappy.'' But I said, ''Look, why is there

1566
00:43:33.200 --> 00:43:35.367
a need to do this?''

1567
00:43:35.367 --> 00:43:37.467
He said, ''Honestly, Tony, if I'm a butcher, I need to cut.''

1568
00:43:37.467 --> 00:43:39.567
He said--

1569
00:43:39.567 --> 00:43:41.067
Ah, see, that scares me.

1570
00:43:41.067 --> 00:43:42.567
--(unintelligible)--

1571
00:43:42.567 --> 00:43:44.067
Oh, man, that scares me.

1572
00:43:44.067 --> 00:43:45.434
But he was -- no, he was so

1573
00:43:45.434 --> 00:43:46.834
cool. I know, but--

1574
00:43:46.834 --> 00:43:48.200
Every surgeon, therefore, ought to be suspect?

1575
00:43:48.200 --> 00:43:49.601
No, not every surgeon. But that's -- what --

1576
00:43:49.601 --> 00:43:51.067
you're trained to do what you do, and

1577
00:43:51.067 --> 00:43:52.501
your life is about the surgery you're doing.

1578
00:43:52.501 --> 00:43:53.968
You want to help somebody, so you don't--

1579
00:43:53.968 --> 00:43:55.434
That's what you know how to do, you don't know

1580
00:43:55.434 --> 00:43:56.901
the other parts.

1581
00:43:56.901 --> 00:43:58.901
So in the end, he recommended I take a drug

1582
00:43:58.901 --> 00:44:00.868
that was -- I'd go take a shot in Switzerland from, and I said,

1583
00:44:00.868 --> 00:44:02.868
''Frankly, I think I'm going to pass.'' He goes, ''But then you

1584
00:44:02.868 --> 00:44:04.868
could just be certain.'' I said, ''No, you could be certain.''

1585
00:44:04.868 --> 00:44:06.868
So three months later -- there's a doctor -- Steve Hoffman (sp?

1586
00:44:06.868 --> 00:44:08.868
) in L.A., he's a great man, and he's a facial surgeon, he's a

1587
00:44:08.868 --> 00:44:10.834
good friend of mine--

1588
00:44:10.834 --> 00:44:12.834
I know, I know, (unintelligible)--

1589
00:44:12.834 --> 00:44:14.167
(unintelligible)?

1590
00:44:14.167 --> 00:44:15.501
I don't know him, no, (unintelligible).

1591
00:44:15.501 --> 00:44:16.834
Yes, he's a great man. And so--

1592
00:44:16.834 --> 00:44:18.133
I've yet to have facial surgery, Tony, I'll get

1593
00:44:18.133 --> 00:44:19.467
there soon.

1594
00:44:19.467 --> 00:44:21.133
--he comes up -- he -- OK, (unintelligible)

1595
00:44:21.133 --> 00:44:22.801
there yet.

1596
00:44:22.801 --> 00:44:24.501
I'll be there someday.

1597
00:44:24.501 --> 00:44:26.167
He pulled out an article, he shows me that same drug the FDA

1598
00:44:26.167 --> 00:44:27.834
just says creates cancer. So then Deepak Chopra--

1599
00:44:27.834 --> 00:44:29.601
(unintelligible), right, yes, go ahead.

1600
00:44:29.601 --> 00:44:31.400
--Deepak Chopra's a friend of mine.

1601
00:44:31.400 --> 00:44:33.267
And Deepak -- I saw him--

1602
00:44:33.267 --> 00:44:35.167
Celebrity has its value.

1603
00:44:35.167 --> 00:44:37.100
Yes, I talked to Deepak.

1604
00:44:37.100 --> 00:44:39.033
And he said -- looked at me, he said, ''Tony, you do have

1605
00:44:39.033 --> 00:44:40.734
very--'' he said, ''but I would never drug somebody, I would

1606
00:44:40.734 --> 00:44:42.267
never, you know, cut up--'' And he said, ''There's nothing

1607
00:44:42.267 --> 00:44:43.667
wrong.'' But I'd already decided not to do anything.

1608
00:44:43.667 --> 00:44:45.200
So do I have certainty here?

1609
00:44:45.200 --> 00:44:48.601
Do I have certainty? No.

1610
00:44:48.601 --> 00:44:50.400
I can walk across the street tomorrow and get hit by a car.

1611
00:44:50.400 --> 00:44:52.033
I have no reason to see if there's anything changed in my

1612
00:44:52.033 --> 00:44:54.467
body, so why would I cut something out or drug myself?

1613
00:44:54.467 --> 00:44:56.067
I think the cutting or drugging would

1614
00:44:56.067 --> 00:44:57.634
do something, (unintelligible).

1615
00:44:57.634 --> 00:44:59.234


1616
00:44:59.234 --> 00:45:00.801
Correct. And what my certainty comes from is, I decided to

1617
00:45:00.801 --> 00:45:02.400
be certain.

1618
00:45:02.400 --> 00:45:04.000
I decided not to question.

1619
00:45:04.000 --> 00:45:05.467
All right.

1620
00:45:05.467 --> 00:45:07.067
So if something happens, you'll say, Well, that's

1621
00:45:07.067 --> 00:45:08.767
the chance I took.

1622
00:45:08.767 --> 00:45:10.534
I decided to leave it alone.

1623
00:45:10.534 --> 00:45:12.133
And did you go back to the first doctor and say to him, Look,

1624
00:45:12.133 --> 00:45:13.567
I've been--

1625
00:45:13.567 --> 00:45:15.133
We had a spirited conversation.

1626
00:45:15.133 --> 00:45:16.801
Thank God, you said, I didn't let you cut me.

1627
00:45:16.801 --> 00:45:18.267
But -- I did. I was very direct with him.

1628
00:45:18.267 --> 00:45:19.767
I said -- what I was more direct with--

1629
00:45:19.767 --> 00:45:21.234
(unintelligible)--

1630
00:45:21.234 --> 00:45:22.734
--is, he said he wanted to cut me before he

1631
00:45:22.734 --> 00:45:24.200
even had done a scan, you know, I

1632
00:45:24.200 --> 00:45:26.100
said, ''That's totally inappropriate.''

1633
00:45:26.100 --> 00:45:27.567
Oh, man.

1634
00:45:27.567 --> 00:45:29.000
When I asked him about the test--

1635
00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:30.467
That's just--

1636
00:45:30.467 --> 00:45:31.901
--he couldn't explain the test. He said,

1637
00:45:31.901 --> 00:45:33.367
''It's very complex.'' And I said, ''Well,

1638
00:45:33.367 --> 00:45:35.234
I'm not that stupid.

1639
00:45:35.234 --> 00:45:36.534
Explain it to me.'' But listen, I'm not on the doctor's case.

1640
00:45:36.534 --> 00:45:37.834
All of them--

1641
00:45:37.834 --> 00:45:39.100
Oh?

1642
00:45:39.100 --> 00:45:40.400
Listen to me, no, hear me, honestly. All of

1643
00:45:40.400 --> 00:45:41.400
them were trying to do what they believed

1644
00:45:41.400 --> 00:45:42.400
would save my life.

1645
00:45:42.400 --> 00:45:43.400
It was--

1646
00:45:43.400 --> 00:45:44.367
Yes, so everybody had your welfare

1647
00:45:44.367 --> 00:45:45.367
in their best interests.

1648
00:45:45.367 --> 00:45:46.734
And they were doing it through their model of

1649
00:45:46.734 --> 00:45:48.000
the world.

1650
00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:49.200
And they were trying to be certain.

1651
00:45:49.200 --> 00:45:50.634
And what's the moral of this story?

1652
00:45:50.634 --> 00:45:51.934
It's 10 years later, and my body hasn't

1653
00:45:51.934 --> 00:45:52.834
changed in any way.

1654
00:45:52.834 --> 00:45:53.767
I'm totally healthy (unintelligible)--

1655
00:45:53.767 --> 00:45:54.701
Far as you know.

1656
00:45:54.701 --> 00:45:55.634
--and I didn't alter -- I haven't -- my heart

1657
00:45:55.634 --> 00:45:56.567
valves, everything, they measure as totally fine.

1658
00:45:56.567 --> 00:45:57.634
You know, so all I seem to have is, what, a

1659
00:45:57.634 --> 00:45:58.667
great deal of strength.

1660
00:45:58.667 --> 00:45:59.734
A lot of growth hormone.

1661
00:45:59.734 --> 00:46:00.767
So now (unintelligible), my motivation

1662
00:46:00.767 --> 00:46:01.767
comes from growth hormone, for God's sakes.

1663
00:46:01.767 --> 00:46:02.601
So tell me this.

1664
00:46:02.601 --> 00:46:04.133
Is there -- get -- I mean, do you -- is there anything missing

1665
00:46:04.133 --> 00:46:06.400
for you?

1666
00:46:06.400 --> 00:46:08.601
That's a great question.

1667
00:46:08.601 --> 00:46:10.767
I am, right now, the happiest I've been in my lifetime.

1668
00:46:10.767 --> 00:46:12.601
And the piece that was missing, was missing -- I'm sure there'll

1669
00:46:12.601 --> 00:46:14.133
be something else, because part of growth is, you know, finding

1670
00:46:14.133 --> 00:46:15.634
something missing--

1671
00:46:15.634 --> 00:46:17.167
Sure.

1672
00:46:17.167 --> 00:46:18.667
--I'm sure. But the thing that was missing

1673
00:46:18.667 --> 00:46:20.167
was allowing myself to fully

1674
00:46:20.167 --> 00:46:21.601
enjoy what I was giving others.

1675
00:46:21.601 --> 00:46:23.067
And I can tell you (unintelligible)--

1676
00:46:23.067 --> 00:46:24.501
You weren't enjoying it?

1677
00:46:24.501 --> 00:46:25.934
I was enjoy -- I thought I was enjoying it.

1678
00:46:25.934 --> 00:46:27.367
But it's like telling somebody what a rose smells like who's

1679
00:46:27.367 --> 00:46:29.067
never smelled a rose.

1680
00:46:29.067 --> 00:46:30.868
Or what, you know, favorite food tastes like who's

1681
00:46:30.868 --> 00:46:32.234
never tasted it.

1682
00:46:32.234 --> 00:46:33.634
It's like -- by the standards I had then, I was

1683
00:46:33.634 --> 00:46:35.033
enjoying it. (unintelligible)--

1684
00:46:35.033 --> 00:46:36.434
I mean, so for a long time you

1685
00:46:36.434 --> 00:46:37.834
were deluding yourself.

1686
00:46:37.834 --> 00:46:39.434
Correct.

1687
00:46:39.434 --> 00:46:41.133
Because it's a matter of measure.

1688
00:46:41.133 --> 00:46:42.901
I wasn't (unintelligible)--

1689
00:46:42.901 --> 00:46:44.467
So the teacher wasn't perfect, was he?

1690
00:46:44.467 --> 00:46:46.167
No, the teacher's never perfect.

1691
00:46:46.167 --> 00:46:47.667
I never claimed -- pretended to be perfect.

1692
00:46:47.667 --> 00:46:49.300
I'm not perfect now.

1693
00:46:49.300 --> 00:46:50.767
(unintelligible)

1694
00:46:50.767 --> 00:46:52.868
But I'll tell you what I am.

1695
00:46:52.868 --> 00:46:54.367
I'm damn happy, you know, I'm damn happy.

1696
00:46:54.367 --> 00:46:55.901
Yes.

1697
00:46:55.901 --> 00:46:57.400
Because you learned to enjoy the act -- the act--

1698
00:46:57.400 --> 00:46:58.901
Because I stopped

1699
00:46:58.901 --> 00:47:00.400
sacrificing just (unintelligible).

1700
00:47:00.400 --> 00:47:02.100
You -- well, you -- OK, let me -- help me

1701
00:47:02.100 --> 00:47:03.868
understand this, because I think this is important.

1702
00:47:03.868 --> 00:47:05.701
You learned no longer to be a martyr, part of

1703
00:47:05.701 --> 00:47:07.567
what you said earlier.

1704
00:47:07.567 --> 00:47:09.501
(unintelligible) was, I don't

1705
00:47:09.501 --> 00:47:11.434
want to say (unintelligible), I'm sure it's (unintelligible).

1706
00:47:11.434 --> 00:47:13.367
A little -- OK, a little bit.

1707
00:47:13.367 --> 00:47:15.334
And you, second, you learned to enjoy the fact that you were

1708
00:47:15.334 --> 00:47:17.033
giving, and that there was joy to be get -- is that it?

1709
00:47:17.033 --> 00:47:18.834
I'm -- (crosstalk) I'm trying to make sure I grasp it.

1710
00:47:18.834 --> 00:47:20.667
Yes, yes, I want to be

1711
00:47:20.667 --> 00:47:22.534
accurate in my response.

1712
00:47:22.534 --> 00:47:24.200
The greatest gift of my life is, I walk down the street in New

1713
00:47:24.200 --> 00:47:25.701
York, in a day I'll be stopped a half-dozen times, minimum, or a

1714
00:47:25.701 --> 00:47:27.067
dozen times, and people will come up to me and say, Oh, my

1715
00:47:27.067 --> 00:47:28.367
God, I love you, Tony.

1716
00:47:28.367 --> 00:47:29.567
I mean, I am so -- (crosstalk) --just the amount of love.

1717
00:47:29.567 --> 00:47:30.734
It's the greatest, it's better than any amount of money you

1718
00:47:30.734 --> 00:47:31.834
could ever earn, any little trophy you could get, or

1719
00:47:31.834 --> 00:47:32.934
anything else.

1720
00:47:32.934 --> 00:47:34.000
It's the greatest gift of my life, because I've helped

1721
00:47:34.000 --> 00:47:34.934
millions of people, and they've helped themselves, and I've been

1722
00:47:34.934 --> 00:47:35.801
a catalyst to it, right?

1723
00:47:35.801 --> 00:47:37.367
Right, right.

1724
00:47:37.367 --> 00:47:39.434
So I've always loved that.

1725
00:47:39.434 --> 00:47:41.467
But I've always felt like, I have to give more, do more.

1726
00:47:41.467 --> 00:47:43.167
And now what's happening is, I'm coming to a place of, I get to

1727
00:47:43.167 --> 00:47:44.868
give more and do more, and I let myself have those moments where

1728
00:47:44.868 --> 00:47:46.567
I just go, Wow, like, I -- tomorrow I'll be on stage, I'm

1729
00:47:46.567 --> 00:47:48.267
sure it'll happen, and there's a point when the

1730
00:47:48.267 --> 00:47:49.968
room will be, you

1731
00:47:49.968 --> 00:47:52.100
know, 20,000 people, up to the top of the rafters.

1732
00:47:52.100 --> 00:47:54.234
And they will be in such a passionate,

1733
00:47:54.234 --> 00:47:56.300
playful, powerful state.

1734
00:47:56.300 --> 00:47:58.367
And I know I'll pop out of my body and look at it and go, Oop,

1735
00:47:58.367 --> 00:48:00.434
this is my life.

1736
00:48:00.434 --> 00:48:02.467
How cool.

1737
00:48:02.467 --> 00:48:04.467
How amazing.

1738
00:48:04.467 --> 00:48:06.501
How blessed I am.

1739
00:48:06.501 --> 00:48:08.534
You will do that?

1740
00:48:08.534 --> 00:48:10.534
Oh, yes, I will absolutely do that.

1741
00:48:10.534 --> 00:48:12.534
And I'll feel I'm blessed, and I'll feel so great.

1742
00:48:12.534 --> 00:48:14.534
But do you -- did you not do that two years ago?

1743
00:48:14.534 --> 00:48:16.567
No, I'd be focused on, well, who's the one

1744
00:48:16.567 --> 00:48:19.567
person I'm missing, you know?

1745
00:48:19.567 --> 00:48:22.334
Is there anybody there that's not?

1746
00:48:22.334 --> 00:48:24.334
Now, make sure, you know.

1747
00:48:24.334 --> 00:48:26.367
And even if they all are

1748
00:48:26.367 --> 00:48:28.367
Is there anybody I haven't convinced?

1749
00:48:28.367 --> 00:48:30.400
Well, it's not so much convinced, it's, is

1750
00:48:30.400 --> 00:48:32.434
there anybody who's really not happy?

1751
00:48:32.434 --> 00:48:34.701
My thing has been making everybody happy, and so now, I

1752
00:48:34.701 --> 00:48:36.667
also know -- and this I'm still working on, frankly -- that I

1753
00:48:36.667 --> 00:48:38.634
care about everybody, but I'm not responsible for everybody.

1754
00:48:38.634 --> 00:48:40.634
Because sometimes, frankly -- like I did this

1755
00:48:40.634 --> 00:48:42.601
thing with a suicide.

1756
00:48:42.601 --> 00:48:44.601
I took two people that were going to commit suicide, and

1757
00:48:44.601 --> 00:48:46.601
I've done this every year, and we follow them up.

1758
00:48:46.601 --> 00:48:48.601
They don't commit suicide, they're changed, transformed.

1759
00:48:48.601 --> 00:48:50.567
And I was actually sad because I thought about -- especially

1760
00:48:50.567 --> 00:48:52.567
the guy that was going to kill his kids, because he didn't want

1761
00:48:52.567 --> 00:48:54.033
them to have -- to go through not having anyone there for

1762
00:48:54.033 --> 00:48:55.501
them, I mean, this bizarre psychology.

1763
00:48:55.501 --> 00:48:56.968
And he's a good man, he's a really good man.

1764
00:48:56.968 --> 00:48:58.434
But I started thinking about all the people

1765
00:48:58.434 --> 00:48:59.901
who I'll never reach.

1766
00:48:59.901 --> 00:49:01.567
And knowing that I can't help and that I'm not, I got myself

1767
00:49:01.567 --> 00:49:03.334
sadder than hell.

1768
00:49:03.334 --> 00:49:05.133
It was stupid as can be.

1769
00:49:05.133 --> 00:49:06.734
And so what that comes from is the ego saying, I care so much,

1770
00:49:06.734 --> 00:49:08.434
nobody else does, I'm the only one that can do it, which is

1771
00:49:08.434 --> 00:49:09.968
complete bull (expletive).

1772
00:49:09.968 --> 00:49:11.634
And so I have to balance that.

1773
00:49:11.634 --> 00:49:13.100
It comes from a good place of really just wanting

1774
00:49:13.100 --> 00:49:14.467
to make that difference.

1775
00:49:14.467 --> 00:49:15.734
But it needs to be in balance with also

1776
00:49:15.734 --> 00:49:17.200
taking care of yourself.

1777
00:49:17.200 --> 00:49:18.534
And right now I'm doing that.

1778
00:49:18.534 --> 00:49:20.033
And I'm loving it.

1779
00:49:20.033 --> 00:49:21.667
I'm -- and I think -- I don't think, I know I'm able to help

1780
00:49:21.667 --> 00:49:23.400
my friends with that.

1781
00:49:23.400 --> 00:49:25.200
The gentleman I was telling you about coaching, I had a

1782
00:49:25.200 --> 00:49:27.033
conversation with him today, and he had a day, lost $50 million,

1783
00:49:27.033 --> 00:49:28.934
which affects your day a little bit.

1784
00:49:28.934 --> 00:49:30.734
And I was reminding him of what life he has, and that his life

1785
00:49:30.734 --> 00:49:32.567
has nothing to do with his trading, and realizing he has

1786
00:49:32.567 --> 00:49:34.400
tied so much in his trading--

1787
00:49:34.400 --> 00:49:36.234
(unintelligible) life he has because he has a

1788
00:49:36.234 --> 00:49:37.834
loving family--

1789
00:49:37.834 --> 00:49:39.467
Unbelievable, unbelievable--

1790
00:49:39.467 --> 00:49:41.100
--because he has--

1791
00:49:41.100 --> 00:49:42.467
--family. And he -- and because this man is a

1792
00:49:42.467 --> 00:49:43.868
huge giver of contributions to society.

1793
00:49:43.868 --> 00:49:45.234
There are some people that are in business and--

1794
00:49:45.234 --> 00:49:46.634
Because he gets great joy from things and et

1795
00:49:46.634 --> 00:49:48.000
cetera, et cetera.

1796
00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:49.734
No, because he gives, he's such

1797
00:49:49.734 --> 00:49:51.667
a giver, you know?

1798
00:49:51.667 --> 00:49:54.167
So -- but you can't tell somebody that and affect them

1799
00:49:54.167 --> 00:49:56.434
unless you're experiencing it.

1800
00:49:56.434 --> 00:49:58.901
It's like -- you know, there's an old story, you probably know

1801
00:49:58.901 --> 00:50:01.501
it, where this woman takes her son to see Gandhi, true story,

1802
00:50:01.501 --> 00:50:04.200
and she travels, I guess, for three days.

1803
00:50:04.200 --> 00:50:06.467
I forget the exact time.

1804
00:50:06.467 --> 00:50:08.734
She took trains.

1805
00:50:08.734 --> 00:50:11.033
Took forever to get there.

1806
00:50:11.033 --> 00:50:13.300
And she gets before the Mahatma, and she says,

1807
00:50:13.300 --> 00:50:15.567
''Mahatma, my son,

1808
00:50:15.567 --> 00:50:18.267
he's a diabetic, and he keeps eating sugar.

1809
00:50:18.267 --> 00:50:20.767
And he loves you and respects you so much.

1810
00:50:20.767 --> 00:50:23.400
If you would just look him in the eyes and say, Stop eating

1811
00:50:23.400 --> 00:50:25.868
sugar, he'll stop, and you'll save his life.'' And Mahatma

1812
00:50:25.868 --> 00:50:28.200
Gandhi reportedly said, ''Come back in three weeks,'' or four

1813
00:50:28.200 --> 00:50:30.467
weeks, whatever the real number was.

1814
00:50:30.467 --> 00:50:32.667
And the woman said, ''No, you don't understand, we live so far

1815
00:50:32.667 --> 00:50:34.834
away.'' And he said, very harshly, ''Come back in three

1816
00:50:34.834 --> 00:50:36.934
weeks,'' and pushed her away, waved her off.

1817
00:50:36.934 --> 00:50:39.033
So she was very angry, but she loved her son.

1818
00:50:39.033 --> 00:50:41.067
So three weeks later she goes through the same trip, she

1819
00:50:41.067 --> 00:50:43.133
travels forever, right, she gets before him.

1820
00:50:43.133 --> 00:50:45.167
Now she's before the Mahatma.

1821
00:50:45.167 --> 00:50:47.200
And she's (unintelligible), because he (unintelligible).

1822
00:50:47.200 --> 00:50:49.234
And he looks at the boy and says, ''Stop eating sugar.'' He

1823
00:50:49.234 --> 00:50:51.234
looks right in the boy's eyes with such intensity, and the

1824
00:50:51.234 --> 00:50:53.234
boy's eyes get about this big.

1825
00:50:53.234 --> 00:50:55.267
And he bows, ''Yes, Mahatma, yes, Mahatma.'' The woman can

1826
00:50:55.267 --> 00:50:57.267
barely hold it back.

1827
00:50:57.267 --> 00:50:59.267
She is pissed.

1828
00:50:59.267 --> 00:51:01.367
She doesn't care if he's Gandhi, you know, she's a mom.

1829
00:51:01.367 --> 00:51:03.067
And she says, ''Why didn't you do that three weeks ago?''

1830
00:51:03.067 --> 00:51:04.801
And he said, ''Because three weeks ago, ma'am, I was eating

1831
00:51:04.801 --> 00:51:06.501
sugar.'' So, so you can talk a good game, but the power in life

1832
00:51:06.501 --> 00:51:08.200
-- your power in life is, you've experienced

1833
00:51:08.200 --> 00:51:09.934
all kinds of things,

1834
00:51:09.934 --> 00:51:12.400
and that allows you to connect with all kinds of people.

1835
00:51:12.400 --> 00:51:14.767
You're a diverse person, and that's stroking.

1836
00:51:14.767 --> 00:51:17.033
You know who you are.

1837
00:51:17.033 --> 00:51:19.234
My pattern in life is the same.

1838
00:51:19.234 --> 00:51:21.400
I've been with millions of people in every walk of life.

1839
00:51:21.400 --> 00:51:23.501
And so -- and I've lived my own life, and I don't bull

1840
00:51:23.501 --> 00:51:25.601
(expletive) myself -- that's not true.

1841
00:51:25.601 --> 00:51:27.667
I bull (expletive) myself every now and then.

1842
00:51:27.667 --> 00:51:29.701
But I catch myself.

1843
00:51:29.701 --> 00:51:31.734
And I know it's bull (expletive).

1844
00:51:31.734 --> 00:51:33.767
And when I do, whatever experience I go through, I learn

1845
00:51:33.767 --> 00:51:35.801
from it, and so I can talk to somebody about it with

1846
00:51:35.801 --> 00:51:37.801
authority, because I really have experienced it.

1847
00:51:37.801 --> 00:51:39.834
And I can talk about it without judgment, because I've been the

1848
00:51:39.834 --> 00:51:41.834
idiot that did it.

1849
00:51:41.834 --> 00:51:44.067
So I don't have a judgment for somebody.

1850
00:51:44.067 --> 00:51:46.267
I go, Look, here's what I did, I was dumb.

1851
00:51:46.267 --> 00:51:48.400
Have you ever done anything like that?

1852
00:51:48.400 --> 00:51:50.534
Here's what I did to change it.

1853
00:51:50.534 --> 00:51:52.601
And you can reach most people then.

1854
00:51:52.601 --> 00:51:54.234
What's the difference in the people who get

1855
00:51:54.234 --> 00:51:55.868
it and it sticks--

1856
00:51:55.868 --> 00:51:57.501
Yes.

1857
00:51:57.501 --> 00:51:59.133
--and those who get it, but it doesn't stick?

1858
00:51:59.133 --> 00:52:00.767
They can't keep the program.

1859
00:52:00.767 --> 00:52:02.801
Standards.

1860
00:52:02.801 --> 00:52:04.801
That's it, the only difference in people's lives.

1861
00:52:04.801 --> 00:52:06.801
What is a must for you and what is a should for you is the

1862
00:52:06.801 --> 00:52:08.834
difference in your life.

1863
00:52:08.834 --> 00:52:10.834
Everybody gets their musts.

1864
00:52:10.834 --> 00:52:12.834
If it's a must for you to spend time with your children, I don't

1865
00:52:12.834 --> 00:52:14.834
care how busy you are, you will.

1866
00:52:14.834 --> 00:52:16.834
If it's a should, you'll want to do it, you'll do it sometimes,

1867
00:52:16.834 --> 00:52:18.868
but you'll feel guilty about it most of the time.

1868
00:52:18.868 --> 00:52:21.100
People earn what they must earn, not a dime more.

1869
00:52:21.100 --> 00:52:23.267
I don't care who they are.

1870
00:52:23.267 --> 00:52:25.434
And when people change their lifestyle and certain things are

1871
00:52:25.434 --> 00:52:27.534
now a must, they always have the money for it,

1872
00:52:27.534 --> 00:52:29.601
because it's a must.

1873
00:52:29.601 --> 00:52:31.667
People -- if a person is not in a relationship, an intimate

1874
00:52:31.667 --> 00:52:33.701
relationship, it's because it's a must not to be hurt.

1875
00:52:33.701 --> 00:52:35.734
If they're in a relationship and they're friends and there's no

1876
00:52:35.734 --> 00:52:37.767
passion, it's because it's a must to be friends, but not a

1877
00:52:37.767 --> 00:52:39.801
must for passion.

1878
00:52:39.801 --> 00:52:41.801
If they're in a relationship and they're in love and they're

1879
00:52:41.801 --> 00:52:43.801
passionate, then that's a must.

1880
00:52:43.801 --> 00:52:45.834
We get our musts.

1881
00:52:45.834 --> 00:52:47.834
And the difference in the musts is, I believe, people's lives

1882
00:52:47.834 --> 00:52:49.834
are a direct reflection of the expectations

1883
00:52:49.834 --> 00:52:51.834
of their peer group.

1884
00:52:51.834 --> 00:52:53.834
Finally, tell me what Dreamlife.com is.

1885
00:52:53.834 --> 00:52:55.834
Ah, Dreamlife is a place where you can enter

1886
00:52:55.834 --> 00:52:57.868
the universe of how to improve anything in your life from the

1887
00:52:57.868 --> 00:52:59.868
best teachers around the world, 24 hours a day, and it'll cost

1888
00:52:59.868 --> 00:53:02.100
-- it's ridiculous, because it's free for most of it.

1889
00:53:02.100 --> 00:53:04.267
There are classes you can take as well.

1890
00:53:04.267 --> 00:53:06.434
But you're able to meet people from around the world.

1891
00:53:06.434 --> 00:53:08.534
You can learn everything from how to strip for your lover to

1892
00:53:08.534 --> 00:53:10.601
how to learn another language to how to be able to, you know,

1893
00:53:10.601 --> 00:53:12.667
trade financially online.

1894
00:53:12.667 --> 00:53:14.701
It's a diverse world where you can enter the world of improving

1895
00:53:14.701 --> 00:53:16.734
yourself and meet all kinds of people and have a community that

1896
00:53:16.734 --> 00:53:18.767
you can be a part of if you choose to.

1897
00:53:18.767 --> 00:53:20.601
And it's a public company, so it's an investor's vehicle as

1898
00:53:20.601 --> 00:53:22.601
well for people, and it's something that I'm passionate

1899
00:53:22.601 --> 00:53:24.400
about, because to me, you know, the online

1900
00:53:24.400 --> 00:53:26.901
world is in its infancy.

1901
00:53:26.901 --> 00:53:29.534
The second wave of the Internet is the media Internet.

1902
00:53:29.534 --> 00:53:32.234
And when we have, you know, full-motion video, the

1903
00:53:32.234 --> 00:53:34.767
equivalent of that with everybody, and not having to

1904
00:53:34.767 --> 00:53:37.200
load a player and so forth, then the Internet becomes really the

1905
00:53:37.200 --> 00:53:39.501
most extraordinary thing in human history.

1906
00:53:39.501 --> 00:53:41.968
Already is one of them.

1907
00:53:41.968 --> 00:53:44.300
But I think it's -- we're about to see a quantum leap in that in

1908
00:53:44.300 --> 00:53:46.567
the next two or three or four years.

1909
00:53:46.567 --> 00:53:48.767
And so I'm really honestly creating the space where the

1910
00:53:48.767 --> 00:53:50.934
best teachers can teach, and people can teach each other and

1911
00:53:50.934 --> 00:53:52.434
build a community that's constantly improving.

1912
00:53:52.434 --> 00:53:55.501
Nice to have you. (crosstalk)

1913
00:53:55.501 --> 00:53:57.000
I enjoyed it, thank you. You got

1914
00:53:57.000 --> 00:53:58.534
quite a grip there.

1915
00:53:58.534 --> 00:54:00.200
Gimme that hand.

1916
00:54:00.200 --> 00:54:01.834
ANTHONY ROBBINS.

1917
00:54:01.834 --> 00:54:03.501
Thank you for joining us.

1918
00:54:03.501 --> 
See you next time.